My Dog Ate My Homework and other random things

Remember my love letter to Jag, our new foster dog?  Yeah....that might have been a little premature.  While I still love him, I've discovered a few reasons as to why his original parents might have given him up.

1.  He eats paper.  Namely my library book.  Fortunately I heard the rustling after he took his first bite of page 234.  I was able to save the rest of it. Wasn't so lucky with the bag of pasta that he found in the food storage room.  He chewed a hole in the plastic and spilled pasta all over the rug.  Note to self...when you hear thumping upstairs, put the DVR on pause and investigate. 

2.  He is obsessed with his fuzzy soccer ball.  Won't leave it alone.  Licks it. Rubs his body all over it. Walks around the house with it in his mouth.  And wants me to throw it to him....all the freaking time.

3.  He does not like to sleep past 6:30 a.m.  On any day.  Especially the weekends.  Or yesterday when I had a bad headache and tried to sleep in before going to work late.

4.   He barks at birds.  Obsessively.  Won't stop even when I squirt him with the squirt bottle.  Happy Spring!  Did I mention we have a little birdy couple building a nest in our back deck awning?

5.  He cries and whines if I leave him alone for even a minute.  Forget about going to the bathroom alone...he pushes the door open and sits at my feet.  Or rather, on my feet.

6.  He acted inappropriately  towards my friends' rocking stuffed gorilla while her baby was sitting on it.  I won't go in to details, but let's just say I don't think it was intended to be ridden that way.

But when he sees me coming around the corner, up the stairs, or in the front door, his little stump of a tail wags so hard that his entire booty shakes.  My heart melts and he's back in my good graces...until next time.