1. If awakened at 5:30 a.m. by the sound of a THUD and a flash of black and white, go investigate. You might just find your cocker spaniel with your brand new $90 shoe in his mouth.
2. If, while lying in bed trying to fall asleep at night, you hear crinkling, then several thuds, go investigate. You might just find your cocker spaniel with a bag of tomatoes on the floor. If he then streaks past you and runs to your bedroom, you will definitely find him in there eating one of the tomatoes as fast as his little doggy face can manage.
3. The 2nd bag of coconut m&ms does not taste as good as the first bag if eaten immediately in succession. Use a little self restraint and wait 10 minutes before moving on to the 2nd bag.
4. Some people are just going to be stupid no matter how intelligently you try to reason with them. And those same people will most likely leave the conversation feeling that YOU are actually the stupid one.
5. My pharmacist says the insane itchiness that I feel might be due to my anxiety rather than my allergies. That's something that might have been useful to know a year ago.
6. Rain makes corn. Corn makes Whiskey. Whiskey makes my baby feel a little frisky.
Oh girl. I hope your $90 shoe is ok!
ReplyDeleteCoconut MandMs!!! wow.
ReplyDeleteYeah, whenever I hear suspicious noises I investigate. it's usually the sound of a poodle dragging something of mine into the living room.
Is the shoe ok?
Tomatoes?? Really?
SNORT! Rain is a good thang. Yes I said thang...cause you just can't go saying 'thing' while quoting country.
ReplyDeleteI would cry myself to sleep if my dog ate my 90 dollar anything...but especially my 90 dollar shoe.
I tried the pretzel M&M's and they are AMAZING! I still haven't tried the coconut, but I'll get there...yum!
ReplyDeleteNever fear...the shoe is safe! My experience with the cocoa powder taught me not to delay any investigations! :)
ReplyDeleteWhiskey makes me vomit. Just sayin ;p
ReplyDeleteThere are coconut m&ms??? Be still my heart...
ReplyDeleteWe've promised our daughter to get a puppy soon. Not glad to have read about your mishaps! I know that happens.
My aunt's cat would eat tomatoes. There would be little holes in it. Too funny.
ReplyDeleteCoconut M&Ms. Sounds awful. Plain or peanut for me.
LisaDay
Sadly, the same can be said about most bags of M&M's...especially when combined with a whiskey chaser. How can to such wonderful things not go together?? How??
ReplyDeleteI also tried the coconut m&ms and they're awesome. The pretzel ones are my new obsession though.
ReplyDeleteYour dog sounds awesome though I'm very sorry to hear about your shoe! Hope the damage was minor!
PS: I love the lyrics in country music. Who comes up with that stuff???