March 18, 2011

The Boys are Back in Town

And by the Boys, I mean......

The Geese. 

But there's no cool song that talks about Geese.  Except maybe Geese Lightening (insert collective inward groan here).

So anyway, a few weeks ago I was having a really bad day.  The kind that only mint chocolate cake from Harmon's can fix.  As I drove in to the parking lot I had to stop to let 3 geese cross my path.  That should have been my first clue.  I walked in to Harmon's and guess what.....No Mint Cake!  Agh!  Curses!

I walked around the store in a funk, not sure what to do.  Because honestly, I really wanted that Mint Cake. And once I get a craving in my head, no amount of other food is going to cut it.  I can't remember what I ended up with.  Something gross I'm sure.

As I drove back to work, I remembered that the geese had also been the parking lot that morning as I got out of my car.  So I hate to say it, but really, those geese caused my terrible horrible no good very bad day.

Today as I was walking in to work I heard a crazy amount of honking.  I looked up, expecting to see them flying over head.  But instead they were sitting along the roof of my building!  Like Gargoyles, guarding the building.  It was seriously creepy!  Even the dude walking in with me said he had never seen that before.

Fortunately I kept the following thought to myself :"Holy crap!  How on earth did they get up there?". 

Duh.  Geese fly.  I mean, really, I was seconds away from saying this out loud and looking like a complete ignoramus!

And of course I walked in to work and was immediately met with bad news.

Why do they hate me?

And now I want mint cake.  Damn Geese.

March 17, 2011

Happy St Patty's Day

May you find a pot of gold at the end of your rainbow!

Unfortunately, I only seem to find gay men at the end of mine.

March 8, 2011

Things you don't expect to hear

I have had many strange conversations over the past couple of weeks.  Some have been fantastically strange in a hysterical, "Oh my gosh, did you JUST say that?!!!" kind of way.  Others have been so terrifyingly sadly strange in a hushed "Oh my gosh, did you just say that?" kind of way.

It's interesting to stand back and look at the lives of those around us and see both the struggles and triumphs that happen to ourselves, our friends and our acquaintances.

Here is a sampling of actual things that people have said to me recently:

"I am finally pregnant!!! (from 2 different friends that have both been trying for several months!)
"My husband has colon cancer"
"Would you think it was weird if you were getting a massage and your massage therapist took her shirt off?"
"I don't know why I don't just slit my wrists and end it all now"
"All I wanna do is a zooma zoom zoom and a boom boom"
"Funeral services for my sister will be held at...."
"Oh you're having a hysterectomy?!  I had one in'll LOVE it!" (she really was serious)
"My co-worker said her house burned down.  And then it burned down again a week later"

And my favorite....

Me to a lady at church in a cast: "What happened?!  Did your husband throw you down the stairs?"
Her response:  "Oh, I was bit by a camel"


March 4, 2011

In the blink of an eye....

Yesterday I received some shocking news.

At 38 years old, I am having a hysterectomy.

I knew I was having problems, which is why I went to the doctor in the first place.

But this was not the answer I expected.

I talked with the doctor and laughed and joked. 

While my insides were screaming.

And the tears were fighting against their natural instinct to pour down my face.

As I called my mom I couldn't hold it in anymore.  I started sobbing.  And had to pull the car over.

Then I had to get on with my day.  Go to work.  Tell my boss.  Email friends.



Eat lots of chocolate.

Today I feel calm, though slightly more numb.

I feel this is the right decision.

Though the knowledge that I will never have children is crushing.


Pray some more.

I know Heavenly Father is sending me comfort through the peace that I feel.

And through the words of kindness from my friends and family.
I know it's all right to cry some more.

And eat more chocolate.