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December 28, 2009

A day of wonderment and delight

My Christmas vacation is almost over.  One more day in the land of sun and warmth (if you consider 53 degrees warm).  Some highlights of my trip so far...

1. Reading the story of the Savior's birth on Christmas Morning before the opening of gifts.  A reminder of the true meaning of Christmas.
2. My dad telling my sister and I how proud he is of the women we've become.
3. My plethora of gifts..including...drum roll...THE PERFECT BROWNIE PAN!!!  My sister rocks.
4. Jen, Mom and I playing Rummikub and laughing til we cried.  Then making a joke that Grandpa always used to make about being tired and needing to go to bed.  Then bursting in to tears and crying until we laughed.
5. Cookies.  Aunt Lani's delicious chocolate cake. Garlic smashed potatoes made in my brand new pressure cooker.  Dad's stuffing.  Cheesy grits.  Omelets at Dean's Cafe tomorrow morning.
6. Sleeping in til 10:00 every day....and even later on some days!
7. Princess Bride. Cheesey Christmas movies.  The Librarian 3. Hours of movie watching on the big screen tv and cuddly blankets.
8. Matching Christmas Jammies for Jen, mom and me.
9. Mom rubbing my arm and tickling my back.  She is the best back tickler in all the land.
10.  The feelings of love and comfort while being back home with those that love me best.

December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas Eve!

Merry Christmas Eve everyone!  I hope  you are all ready for the big day tomorrow.  The shopping should be done, the cookies should be baked, and the stockings should be hung by the chimney with care.  For Santa is on his way!

If you want to track the fat man, rudolph and his sleigh, you can click here to see where he is. SANTA TRACKER.

I'm off to California for a few days to visit my parents.

Ho Ho Ho and Happy Holiday!

December 22, 2009

My first Post-it Note Tuesday!







Christmas Cookie Rules

To clarify, I did not write these rules, they were sent to me in an email.  That doesn't make them any less true though!

1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.
 
2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.
 
3. If a friend comes over while you're making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend's first cookie is calories free, (rule #1) yours is also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free.
 
4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
 
5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.
 
6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter. Make more red ones!
 
7. Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.

8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking Causes calorie leakage..

9. Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate. We all know how calories like to CLING!

10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It's a rule!

So, go out and enjoy those Christmas Cookies - we only get them this time of year!

December 17, 2009

Dear Bob's Sweet Stripes candies,

You are little melty in my mouth pieces of joy.  Why do you only come out at Christmas time?  You are the perfect mixture of peppermint flavor with almost the consistency of a butter mint.  With just a little crunch to get through your light outer shell you dissolve in to pure peppermint bliss.  You are gone so fast that sometimes I'm not sure I even ate you...so I sample another just to confirm and to remember your sweet taste on my tongue.

Truly your only fault is the annoying little plastic wrappers that you come in.  Why, Bob's Sweet Stripes candies, do you want to waste my time with these?

Please re-consider a year round job.

Love,
Stacy

Amy Grant - Boo Hiss

I have a confession.  I hope I do not lose friends over this.  I despise have a strong dislike for Amy Grant.  I really don't think of her all that often...except at Christmas time.  Because I love her song Emmanuel.  And Tennessee Christmas.  And that whole stinkin' album of hers.

But I can't listen to it anymore.  I am a woman of principles.  Once I decide someone is dead to me to dislike someone intensely it takes more than a chipper Christmas song or some sappy ABC tv special to get back in to my good graces.

Here's the thing.  I am not a preachy kind of gal.  I love all people of all races, religions and creeds. (truth be told I don't really know what a creed is, other than that rock band that my sister intensely despises as well).  I was raised to never judge and have had friends and family from all walks of life.  But I am proud to be LDS, a mormon, even with all of our crazy ways.  And Amy Grant has spoken many times against the mormons and how we are abominations in the sight of God.  And then she stole Vince Gill from his wife.

So yes Amy Grant, you have a lovely voice.  And maybe you have a lovely heart and personality as well.  But I don't see it.  And I forgive you....I just won't buy any more of your albums.

December 16, 2009

It's a Bird, It's a Plane....

It's Super Mimi!  AKA Mimi on Crack.  Sometimes she gets a little bee in her bonnet and she runs around like a crazy person dog.  And all you have to say to get her going again is "I'm gonna get you!"  and she's off like a shot!

I can't get the video to load so please see Super Mimi here on You Tube.

P.S. Ignore the blankets everywhere...I've been sick...and lazy.

December 14, 2009

Ten Essential Holiday Tips!

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit.  In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately.  Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can.  And quickly.  Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare.  In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch.  You can't find it any other time of year but now.  So drink up!  Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip?  It's not  as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something.  It's a treat.  Enjoy it.  Have one for me. Have two.  It's later than you think.  It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it.  That's the whole point of gravy.  Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on.  Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes.  Fill it with gravy.  Eat the volcano.  Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk.  If it's skim, pass.  Why bother?  It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it.  Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's.  You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.  This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound  plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge.  Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention.  They're like a beautiful pair of shoes.  If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies.  Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat.  Have a slice of each.  Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin.  Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert?  Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake?  Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost.  I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.  Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.  Remember this motto to live by: 


"Life should NOT be a journey to the  grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, drink in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a  ride!"

Have a great holiday season!

December 11, 2009

Eat the World?

I took sign language in high school.  I loved it!  It was the one subject that I was actually good at.

For some reason hearing people love to do songs in sign language.  I don't really understand this.  Deaf people can't hear music.  Anyhoo, for my sign language final I translated and signed "Feed the World" by Band Aid.  Man I loved that song!  (It's on my music player if you want to hear a little sample).

I signed the entire song and was pretty proud of myself.  I was confident that I had aced it and had blown everyone out of the water with my mad skills.  Until my friend Cindy let me know that I had signed "Eat the World" instead of "Feed the World" for the entire song.  Woops....Now THAT was embarrassing!

December 9, 2009

My first blog award!

Well goodness gracious, if I don't feel SPECIAL today!  My bloggy bff Mrs. Foxy at the Foxy den gave me this little doozie today:


I just don't know what to do with myself, other than to accept it and admit that I too heart her blog.  We met through SITS and it was instant friendship.  I mean, she's awesome, I'm awesome, what's not to get?

So thanks Mrs. Foxy for the recognition.  Blogging has been so fun and I am constantly trying to think of witty stuff to put out here in the blogosphere.

I hope you all have a wonderfully wacky Wednesday.  I'm off to meet with the potty doctor (not his official title I'm sure) and see if we can't solve these stomach problems.  Then it's the Low Dough Christmas Show tonight... Phil Vassar, Bucky Covington and some chick named Bombshell.  Can't beat $5 concert tickets with 5 of my favorite ladies!

Ya'll come back now, hear?

December 7, 2009

Merry SITSmas!

Hello friends.  I belong to an awesome blog group called SITS.  This is my first year participating in SITSmas, the kick off to holiday wishes!

Last night I made my first batch of caramels...an annual Christmas event.  My grandparents started this tradition early in to their 60 year marriage.  Homemade caramels and turtles and peanut clusters...OH MY!  Several years ago my grandpa decided he was too old to do the annual candy making.  I asked him if he would teach me how to make it so that I could carry on the tradition.  He painstakingly showed me how to make the candy, repeating every detail so that I could memorize it.  At the time I was annoyed that  he was SO SLOOOOOOOOOW.  I was even a bit rude, and acted as if I knew better than him and did a lot of mental eye rolling.  And of course my candies NEVER turned out as good as his.

This is the first Christmas since my Grandfather's death this past May.  The first year of me truly carrying on the family tradition without him.  As I was stirring the cream in to the butter and sugar I felt a little teary eyed and wished that I had been more patient with  my Grandpa.  That I had cherished the times that we spend together rather than being impatient and impudent.

My Christmas wish this year is for love and compassion for all.  That we will be reminded of our blessings and cherish our families.  I hope my Grandpa knew how much I loved him even if I didn't show it enough.

Merry Christmas to all...and may you enjoy the peace that the holidays bring!

Little Miss Look at my Butt

My sister and I foster dogs for a no kill agency in Utah called Utah Animal Advocay Foundation.  This weekend we got a new dog named Teva.  She is gorgeous.  We're not sure what she is, but she's around 8 lbs and cuddles up like a little doll.





I had to go to the County Animal Shelter to pick her up. That place is so sad.  So many poor dogs waiting to be adopted, and so many of them run out of time.  Teva's last day was Saturday.  I'm so glad we were able to save her.

One of the downsides to getting a dog from an animal shelter is that they are often very dirty and covered in poo.  Teva was no exception to this rule.  Typically we don't bathe them until day 2 so as to reduce the stress of the first day.  I am no doggy washing pro, so I usually strip down to my unders and put on an apron because I often end up as wet as the dog. Since Teva was new and I wasn't sure how she would handle a bath (turns out not very well!) I asked my sister to help me wash her. I was able to stay mostly dry.

After bathing her I took her downstairs to blow her dry (which she hated) and then got on the computer for the first time all weekend.  As I headed back upstairs, with my sister right behind me, I realized with dismay that I hadn't gotten dressed and was still wearing just an apron and my undies.  How embarrassing!  I felt like that line from Heart and Souls about "Little Miss Look at my Butt".  As I went upstairs I turned off all the lights....or so I thought.  I went to the close the blinds to the sliding glass door and accidentally turned the light on to my back porch....and gave my neighbors a show...of me.. in my underwear and my watermelon apron.  I hope they will recover from the grotesque site quickly.

December 2, 2009

Feeling over looked?

Tired of being invisible?  Do you sit unnoticed on the sidelines while others are picked?  Try the latest scarf fashion and you too will be the center of attention.


November 30, 2009

Perfect Brownies anyone?

Oh man, do I love brownies.  They speak loving words to my soul.  I like them plain. I like them with mint.  I like them with german chocolate frosting.  I like them with powdered sugar.  I like them with cream cheese and broken up peppermint candy pieces.  I like them in a box, I like them with a fox, I like them here and there, I like them EVERYWHERE!

A few months ago I was visiting the "mothership" aka Walmart, and this little gem caught my eye.

The Perfect Brownie Pan Set.  Imagine a spot light of celestial beauty shining down upon it with angels singing "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh".  This I  must have!  A pan set that Makes. Perfect. Brownies.  Glorious!  I pointed it out to my sister, certain she would agree that we must have it, on the spot!  Instead she gave me a look like I was a moron, and said, "what do you need THAT for"?  I tried to pretend that I did not feel rejected.  That the perfect brownie pan set was no big deal.  That a little piece of my SOUL did not die that very minute.

I still sneak a peak at it each time I am at Walmart.  There are always 5 there.  I'm not sure if that means that no one else is buying it either, or if they keep it replenished because they fly out of there like hot cakes.

Maybe Santa will put it in my stocking.  I HAVE been a good girl this year.

November 25, 2009

I am alive!

I'm alive and  well to blog another day.  Woohoo!  The surgery went really well. I had a pretty bad asthma attack while trying to wake up and had to get 2 breathing treatments.  Then I was on oxygen for a couple of  hours b/c I couldn't regulate on my own.  But other than that, no problems.

I feel pretty good. I've been up and moving around and have been nibbling the past 2 days.  A little pain but nothing that a nice Loritab can't fix in a jiff!  Now if only the Chihuahua would stop jumping on my stomach!

So happy Turkey day tomorrow to all of my bloggy friends.  I hope your holiday is special!

November 23, 2009

Surgery Schmurgery

Welp, it's here.  Tomorrow is the big day.  GBR Day.  That's Gall Bladder Removal Day incase you weren't familiar with the acronym.  Not to be confused with GNR Day.  Guns 'n Roses.  Man I loved those guys in the 80's.  Not their crazy heavy metal songs, but who didn't rock out to Sweet Child of Mine (and maybe still does!).  And Welcome to the Jungle (we've got fun and games. We've got everything you want....)  I'm pretty sure that my naive 15 year old mind didn't quite understand what that song was about, but I still loved it.  Oh, oh, and take me down to paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.  Gosh, I might need to do some iTunes surfing tonight!!!

Anyway, I digress.  I am supposed to be at the hospital at 8:30 tomorrow and the surgery is scheduled for 9:45.  I am scared poopless.  Ok, not quite, but you know what I mean.  If one more person tells me that it's super easy and I have nothing to be scared of I might lose it.  I mean, really LOSE IT!  I know that it is  not a major thing, but I'm a scaredy cat.   My middle name is Chicken.  No, it's not, it's Marie.  But I think chicken is more fitting.  SO I'm scared.  Big deal.  Get over it!

Today I stayed home from work b/c I wasn't feeling well and slept all day.  This was probably a huge mistake since I will most likely be spending the next 5 days in bed.  My dogs only give you one sick day.  They are more than happy to lie down with you all day and sleep.  For one day only.  On day 2 they are on to you and they want to be entertained.  Played with.  Taken outside. Fed.  Dandie will sit on my pillow with her face up to  my eyes, licking my forhead.  Mimi will stand on my chest with her eyes up to my eyes, staring in to the depths of my soul.  She is using subliminal messaging.  Feed me Seymore!  Geesh people, leave me alone!

So now I am eating everything in the house, because I can't eat after midnight.  Which doesn't seem like a big deal until someone tells you that you can't do it.  Then suddenly eating after midnight seems like the most important thing in the world.  I have my jello, pudding and gingerale chilling in the fridge.  My sweat pants are folded neatly on my dresser.  And I'm ready.

Did I mention that I was scared???

November 20, 2009

Friday Fragmnets

Got this idea from someone else's blog today...sorry that I can't remember who and attribute this to them!  Fragments of thoughts for lazy folks not wanting to take the time to write a real blog?  Giddyup!

Heard on the Radio today "You can never have too many saddle pads". I couldn't possibly disagree with that statement more.  Can't think of any reason for even one saddle pad.  Especially since at first I thought they said Saddle Pants and was clueless as to what those were.

I'm pretty sure I just saw Kid Rock at the bus stop...or at least what he will look like in 10 years.  Not pretty folks, not pretty ta-tall!

I recently realized how often I say tidbits in my blog.  Note to self:  Find new word for tidbits.

I am pretty positive I am going to regret my lunch choice today..lasagna and bread sticks from Pizza Hut.  So delicious...worth the pain I'm sure to experience in T-20 minutes?  I'll have to get back to you on that.  If I survive.

Adios  and Via Condidos is currently playing on my iTunes radio.  I am dedicating it to my gall bladder.  Sianara sucka!

I am not getting the H1N1 vaccine.  Has nobody seen "I am Legend"?  I'm just sayin'.

I hate when people start a sentence with "Is what I'm saying is".  Really people?  It's almost as bad as "We was walking to the store" and "I says I'm going to eat some chocolate".  mmmmmmmmm....chocolate.

I can't figure out how to change the wording of "Comments" on my blog.  Do you need a degree in molecular science?  Cause this little gal dropped out of college.

I am going to use my gallbladder surgery as an excuse to buy some sweatpants.  And then I am going to wear said sweatpants to work and in every aspect of my life until I absolutely cannot get away with it any longer.

Ba Deep Ba Deep Ba Deep, that's all folks!

November 19, 2009

Gimme an N! Gimme an E! Gimme a W!   Gimme an M! Gimme an O!Gimme another O! Gimme an N!  What does it spell?  It spells My-friend-Shana-won-tickets-to-tonight's-midnight-showing-of-New-Moon-and-she's-taking-little-ol'-me-WAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Can't wait!  Thanks Shana, even though I know for a fact you don't read my blog so really I could say anything about you that I wanted!

November 18, 2009

Things I learned yesterday

Yesterday was a very informative day.  I learned or realized some interesting (to me anyway) tidbits. Here they are in  no particular order.

1. Hobby Lobby is an amazing store.  I want to find out how much they charge for rent and move in.
2. Men do not look good in sweat pants.  Especially a certain bald snarky programmer in my office who I usually refer to as The tool or the DB (nickname edited b/c I am a lady).
3. The corner Circle K stopped selling my caffeine free diet coke from the fountain.  Those morons brought in Coke Zero instead.  Fortunately they still have little ice..which I refilled for FREE in my humongous 54 oz New Moon cup that I paid 5 stinking dollars for at the movie theater a few weeks ago.
4. Tootsie Pops are gluten free.  And delicious.  And should not be bitten unless you want to break your back teeth.
5. Gluten free animal crackers are not delicious.  Although Boo Boo and Satana (the dogs) enjoyed them.  But they also eat poop, so they are not the best judges in my opinion.
6. How I Met Your Mother continues to out do itself week after week....just watched the episode where Robin and Barney got old and fat and broke up with each other.  Priceless.  Can't wait to see next week's Slap Bet..was just thinking that Marshall had been holding out for a little too long.
7. Your gall bladder is 4 cm wide and 8 cm long.  A gall stone of 1.5 cm will certainly clog up this little organ.

I hate to end a list on number 7...what a weird number...but that's all I can think of right now.  Today I meet with Dr-I-want-to-remove-your-gall-bladder-with-a-lapriscopic-thing-a-majiggy-and-charge-you-$3700-for-an-hour-of-my-time.  Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll be single and cute.  But more than likely he'll be rude, bald, and wearing sweat pants.

November 16, 2009

The ultra sound results are in.  It's a....Drum Roll please.......bouncing baby gall stone!  Well, in truth it's a large gall stone measuring 1.5 cm.  And the prognosis is.......that dude's gotta come out.  I have a surgical consult on Wednesday to find out more details but my dr said that I really should have the gall bladder removed.

I feel petrified nervous at the prospect of surgery and pain, but relief at the prospect of my stomach problems being cured.   Let's all cross our fingers that this is the cause of everything and that I can start eating chocolate feeling better quickly.
I may or may not have "borrowed" this idea from IchnoArt one of my SISTStas today.  She calls it a front porch party.  Even though I do not have a front porch, I do loves me a good partay!  Here are some interesting (?) tidbits about me. (sorry Facebook friends, I also used some of these in a note that I was tagged in earlier this year):

1. I love the song "Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake
2. I never EVER drink from a water fountain, with the exception of at church because I've seen them clean it with my very own eyes.  My sister drinks from them all the time.  I'm pretty sure she will end up with Hep C and I will laugh, point, and say I told you so
3. I like to write with my purple pen at work. It makes the day feel a bit cheerier
4. I have been in love 3 times in my life; twice as a teenager and once as an adult. I am not sure I'll ever be completely over the last one.
5. I tried to talk my sister out of buying a house with a big yard and now I am Queen of the Yard Work. I LOVE GARDENING!!! But I pay the neighbor kid to mow the lawn.  Yes, I’m THAT lazy...plus that is boy's work.
6. I love watching Mimi the satanic Chihuahua stretch across the carpet and rub her belly.  I also love to watch her prance.
7. I am addicted to little ice. I go to the gas station every day to get some. I found it at the grocery store last Christmas and served it at a party and everyone was jealous of me.
8. I have a handful of friends that I cannot imagine life without.
9. I cherish my relationship with my sister more than I ever could have imagined.
10. I have been hurt more times in my relationships with girls/women than with boys/men. I am learning again as an adult that women can be catty and even cruel. It does not hurt any less at 36 than it did at 16.
11. I own a power drill...and am not afraid to use it. I am learning to be Ms. Fix-it, and resident bug killer. Though I am scared senseless of mice.
12. I can cook and love to bake but if left to my own devices I would survive on cereal and Oreos
13. I am addicted to buying shoes that don't fit. I have a closet full of shoes that I cannot wear.
14. I strongly believe that Thanksgiving should have it's own season and that Christmas decorations should stop trying to steal it's thunder.
15.  I lay in bed thinking of things to blog about. I love to hear that my blog makes people laugh.

November 13, 2009

I've got a new attitude!

Holy sheep dip!  I don't know who let Debbie Downer and Crabby Patty hijack my blog, but they are so out of here!  No more woe is me.  After a long day of feeling sorry for myself, I've decided to take control of my life and my health.  Although I know it's going to be hard to make the diet changes that I need to, I'm excited at the prospect of feeling better and finding a healthier happier life.

Now...on to more important things...So You Think You Can Dance.  Was it just me, or did Nigel have his knickers in a bit of a twist last night?  I think Susie Sourpuss might have made a little visit to him as well.  Yes, none of the solos were FANTASTIC, but I didn't think they were horrible!  Except maybe Eleanor's.  Or is it Evelyn?  Either way, it was a little odd.

And let's talk about Hotty McSixPack.  Ryan.  The reason he's been in the bottom 3 the last couple of times can be explained with 3 little words.  Too Many Clothes.  Seriously man, TAKE. OFF. YOUR. SHIRT.  Remember in the auditions and he came out with no shirt on and all of the judges (and every woman in the free world) were salivating all over themselves?  Let's get back to THAT scene!  Yeah, your face isn't bad.  Yes, your wife, Mrs. Mc0%bodyfat, is "learning and progressing", but you don't want to go home next week just because of a wardrobe malfunction, do you?  DO YOU??!!

We'll have to see what next week brings.  Happy weekend!!!

November 12, 2009

Today I feel down in the dumps. Dejected and frustrated. As I mentioned in my last blog I've been having stomach trouble for the past month. The truth is, I've been having stomach trouble for the past several years. Like 10. Or longer. Anyway, after years and years of tests and being told it's all in my head, today I sort-of got a diagnosis. IBS...Irritable bowel syndrome. And possibly gall stones. And probably Celiac. Did you see that there are a couple of ANDs in there? It just seems so overwhelming and hopeless.

I know this is dumb to feel this way. I should be happy. Grateful that it's not life threatening or debilitating. I have a good friend and also an aunt battling cancer. One of my friends has MS, another is HIV positive. And yet another friend has some rare neurological disorder that will eventually result in the amputation of her hands and feet.

MY problems can all be controlled by making changes to my diet. There's the frustrating part though....here is a sampling of what I need to cut out of my diet: Wheat (including white flour...which is in EVERYTHING...just in case you didn't know), Chocolate (which runs through my veins), fatty and fried foods (hamburgers. AND french fries..horrors!), raw veggies such as salads, broccoli, cauliflower, apples. (Ok, truth be told those things I don't mind cutting out!).

I know this is not a death sentence. I need to lose weight anyway. Lots of weight. And I did cut out chocolate for a year in high school. That was a hard year. But I know that if I do these things I will feel better. That my life will be easier. That I will have more energy and better moods. But the thought of giving up cookies makes me want to cry. Big FAT cookie tears.

November 10, 2009

Today I am on the BRAT diet. Again. In case you don't know what this is....it's Bananas, Rice, Applesauce and Toast. I've been having stomach problems for the past month and I keep going back on this diet for a few days until I feel better. Actually today I'm just on the TAG diet..Toast, Applesauce and Gingerale, because I don't have any bananas or rice and I'm too lazy to go to the store.

Before I left for work, I was smart enough to grab a jar of Mott's chunky applesauce from our food storage to bring with me. This jar is liquid gold to my sister and me. They do not sell the chunky kind in Utah. Anywhere. I had to order it special from Smith's grocery store..an entire case of it from Mott's. So we have been using this liquid gold sparingly. I opened the jar and was aghast to see some bad spots in it. I quickly checked the expiration date....Best if used by May 8, 2009. Oops.

Since I don't like to be wasteful, and this case of applesauce cost me $17, I decided to eat it anyway. I threw away the bad spots. No one has to know. Then there was a strange stringy thing in it. I choose to believe that it is a piece of apple stem, and not a spider leg which it really resembles.

My mom used to work for the customer service department of Lucky grocery stores in CA. She was the one that took the calls from upset people. One day an old lady called her and said that she found a dead spider in her frozen lemonade. Um...gross. Frozen dead spider. I can't remember the results of the phone call, but obviously the lady was not satisfied. Because a week later my mom received a letter in the mail from the old lady. Complete with said spider, wrapped in a baggie. I'm sure that was a once in a lifetime occurrence. That a poor little spider did not suffer the same fate as the lemonade spider and fall in to the vat of Mott's Chunky apple sauce. Yes, I'm sure it's just an apple stem. I threw it out just in case though.

November 5, 2009

I like to embarrass my sister. I can't help it. She gets embarrassed by the silliest things. Sometimes it's annoying, like when we are at the grocery store and she's embarrassed to ask where the cookies are. Ok, that's a lie.....we know where the cookies are. It's like I have an internal road map straight to the cookie department in any grocery store in the world. But you get my point. Dumb things embarrass her. Every so often though I get the opportunity to REALLY embarrass her. Like tag weird pictures of her at girls camp on facebook. And then, just because I can, I put it on my blog. Ha Ha!

November 3, 2009

Fall in New England is my favorite time of the year. There is a crispness in the air and the tree lined streets are glimmering with gold, copper and red leaves. You can hear them crunching as you walk through the many outdoor festivals...Chowder Festival, Apple Cider Festival, etc. There is a little apple stand in the front yard on the way to my old church in Springfield, MA that sells apple cider pressed from their own orchard and apple cider donuts.

The photo in my header reminds of those days when I lived in Connecticut. Now that I live in Utah, the Fall season is very short. We usually only get a few weeks of cooler weather because Winter is quick to push its way in. I still love it though. The mountains are filled with beautiful colors, and like the line from Miss Congeniality, "It's not too hot or too cold. All you need is a light sweater!"

October 28, 2009

October 25, 2009

Well, it's official. Winter is here. Jack Frost has nipped at my nose. That jerk. I just took the dogs out for their last potty trip of the night, and I could see my breath. Baby, it's cold outside!

The weather forecast is calling for a big snow storm tomorrow night and all day Tuesday. You know what that means...time to unpack the winter sweaters!


October 15, 2009

Guest Blogger....My hysterical sister Jennifer sent me this text today.

Dear Sour Patch kids,
Why do you tempt me with your tangy yumminess? Are you sweet or are you sour? Who cares, you are great either way!

Love,
Jen

October 14, 2009

A letter to...

Dear Blog,

I love you, and I feel I must apologize to you for this horrendous new Halloween background. I have done you an injustice. I will not rest until a new background is found. Oh, and dearest blog, I must also apologize for lying to you. I will rest tonight....but I will be thinking about nothing except finding you a suitable background tomorrow while I'm at work and can get paid for my creativity.

Thank you for never judging me.
Love,
Me

October 13, 2009

A letter to...



Dear Socks,

We meet again. I am once again reminded of how much I hate you. And apparently you hate me as well. I decided to try looking at some knee socks today like April suggested last year and I started sneezing as soon as I walked in to the sock section. Stupid wool. Now I itch all over and am using my back scratcher to scratch my face, hands, head, feet...you get the picture.

You are dead to me.

Insincerely,
Stacy

September 22, 2009

Dear Dunkin Donuts

I have been a fan...neigh, an obsessed admirer...of yours since birth. Growing up on the East Coast, where there is a cute little white building with pink roof on practically every corner, I was spoiled by the abundance of vanilla creme filled powder sugar covered deliciousness. Oh..and Boston Cremes and crispy coconut coating. Oooh... and don't even get me STARTED on the Munchkin donut holes! And the creamy goodness of your hot chocolate!

Sadly, I moved to Utah 15 years ago where there is no Dunkin Donuts in existence. Nor is there one within a 1500 mile radius...give or take a few hundred miles. I have learned to make do with buying a few dozen of your ooey gooeyness when I've traveled to New York, Connecticut and Boston over the years, smuggling them back in my suit case. I had resigned myself to this and had even felt like I'd moved on from the tears and tantrums over not having one of your perfectly powerdery smelling stores near me.

And then Dunkin Donuts...just as I'd accepted the delicious donuts at the neighborhood Harmons as my new faves, and pretty much gotten you out of my mind, you started selling your coffee in the local grocery stores. As if THAT alone was not enough, you started advertising on tv your donuts and breakfast sandwhiches. Taunting me with pictures of my past love. I feel that this is cruel and unusual punishment. No one (namely me) should be subjected to this kind of torture.

I stand up for all Dunkin Donut lovers out there shouting "You should not advertise in areas that you don't have a damn donut stand"! There! I 've said it. And you even made me swear. Way to go Dunkin Donuts. WAY. TO. GO. I hope you're proud of yourself.

September 14, 2009

Let's play the Fortunately Unfortunately game.

Unfortunately I found an unopened package of Halloween Oreos in the cupboard yesterday. This is an unfortunately because usually I am crippled by the powers of the Oreo. I have been known to eat an entire package in one day. Yikes!

Fortunately we have jr. fat boys in the freezer and after eating 1 of those (ok, 2) I was able to resist the Oreos and only eat about 10. or was it 15?

Wait a minute...maybe those are both unfortunately's. I'll have to think about this while I eat another Oreo.

September 11, 2009

I have a very vivid memory from my childhood. We were visiting my Nana and Pop Pop in Florida, and Jen and I were sleeping out on the covered back porch...or at least trying to anyway. My parents and grandparents were making such a ruckus in the living room playing tripoli that I couldn't fall asleep. I remember listening to them laughing and carrying on and wishing I could be out there playing with them.

As a teenager my mom wanted to teach us how to play but I always resisted, I was too bored or too cool in my mind to play a game with my mom. It wasn't until this summer, long after Nana and Pop Pop died, that I finally gave in and learned the game. We played outside my Grandma's room the day before she died, with my mom, sister, and my Aunt Kristin, who has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

I wish I had learned to play while my grandparents were still alive and could have added another fond memory. Now when I play this game I will be reminded of my family and the love that I feel for them and how fleeting life is. I will try to remember to never be too cool to play a game with my mom and to create special memories that will last the rest of my life.

September 2, 2009

I have a new addiction. Reeses Peanut Butter Cup milkshakes from Iceberg. This is a problem for several reasons. The obvious ones being that I am quickly beginning to resemble a humvee tank, the blood in my veins is slowly being replaced with ice-cream, and they are expensive at $4.48 a pop.

However the less obvious problems are the most important and are also the reasons why I should never ever EVER eat these milkshakes again.

1. I am lactose intolerant
2. I am allergic to peanut butter

Ok, ok, no need to panic. I have a pill that I take that helps with the lactose thing (I want to make out with who ever invented Digestive Advantage One A Day lactose therapy - Please come forward if it was you). And the peanut butter allergy is not life threatening. It just causes a minor problem of exzema on my face, eye, hands, feet, ok just about everywhere. So I take a benadryl and rub some cortizone cream on it. And rub my eye on the carpet. No biggee...totally worth it.

August 3, 2009

Heaven has another angel today

Today is a day filled with mixed emotions. My Grandmother has finally passed away. I say finally not because I am happy that she is gone, but because she has lived a long life with many medical struggles, the last one being advanced alzheimers.

My sister told me on Thursday that the hospice nurses were giving her less than a week to live. I flew out on Saturday to say my last goodbye's. Grandma was mostly sedated the whole time I was there, with about 10 minutes a day of semi alertness. I was able to tell her that I loved her. I think she knew it was me.

Yesterday my dad gave Grandma a blessing of release, telling her it was ok to let go and be with Grandpa, who died on May 22. I had to leave a few hours later. My gut told me to stay one more day, but unfortunately I had to be back to work today.

My sister called me today at 2pm. She said that they said a family prayer and Grandma died seconds later, with her 3 children, my mom and my sister by her side. I am sad that I wasn't there, but I am glad that she is finally at peace. We believe that in the Resurrection our bodies will be made whole again. My grandma had polio when she was a child and has been crippled for most of her life. I imagine her running around with Grandpa,their parents, and all of the dogs and cats that she saved growing up, living the high life. The only thing that could make it better is if they have ice-cream in Heaven. I wish there was a way to find out!

July 15, 2009

Who's a naughty monkey?

I've blogged before about my sister's dog Mimi (she is being referred to as my sister's dog for 2 reasons. 1. I am mad at her. 2. She was supposed to be my sisters dog but my sister keeps deserting us for the summer, so I guess I'm mad at her too).

You can click here for a reminder on how naughty Mimi is

Mimi is definitely a CARNIVORE. One day when we first got her, a beautiful yellow butterfly flew up to her and landed on her nose. Awwww, how cute Jen and I both said in unison! Until SNAP! Mimi ate that little butterfly right off her nose! Since then she has eaten an unknown number of bugs, some dead, some alive, some in mid flight. To be honest, that's my favorite. When she's just walking around minding her own business and then she jumps up and grabs some poor unsuspecting moth. I don't mind so much when she eats the bugs...I hate bugs. In my opinion they are here on earth just to be killed and eaten.

What I don't like so much is when Mimi finds a bird in our back yard. I had the misfortune of walking up to her last week eating a little bird. I don't know if she caught it herself or if it was already dead. But I had to chase her around the yard for a while and then finally got the hose out and was able to get her to drop the bird. I then had to pick it up in my bare hands (gross!) and throw it away.

So anyway, back to the reason I am mad at Mimi. We have 2 new foster dogs (yes, that means we, or rather I, have 4 dogs in the house. That's a blog for a different day) Lexi and Nina. Lexi is 4 1/2 lbs and has no teeth. Mimi has gone after her a few times but mostly leaves her alone. I think she can tell there's no threat there. But poor Nina is a gorgeous black Italian Greyhound/min pin mix. For some reason, Mimi does not like her. She has attacked her every day since she got here. Mostly it's over food but sometimes it's just because the wind blew the wrong way. I have to be on guard at all times to make sure that Nina does not become Mimi's latest snack.

She makes me so mad sometimes! But then I come across something like this and I have to laugh. Mimi likes to burrow in dark areas and go to sleep. She crawls behind our food storage shelf and then can't figure out how to get out. Next time she goes after Nina I am going to put her back there myself and leave her. That'll show her!

June 22, 2009

This past Friday I took my neighbors' 3 kids to an outdoor movie to watch Hotel For Dogs. My friend Shana came with her 2 kids as well.

Everyone was so excited to be outside and watch the movie...until it actually started. THEN they wanted to play on the jungle jim. Now I was torn. Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE dogs and I also LOVE kid movies. So I really wanted to watch the movie. But of course I couldn't leave the kids alone in the dark playing on the jungle jim, so I went along with them. Fortunately the screen showed the movie from the back as well. So what if it was backwards? I still pretty much got the idea.

I had a really good time and the kids played really well together. I'm always amazed at how quickly kids become friends. Since I can be a bit shy and awkward at meeting new people, I decided to listen to what kind of questions they were asking each other. Mostly they were the standard get to know you kid questions. What grade are you in, how old are you, etc. My favorite question however was "How many teeth have you lost"? I got a good chuckle at that one. I don't think I'll add it to my list of things to ask at parties or social gatherings, but it seemed to work for the 7 and 8 year old boy.

June 18, 2009

My grandpa died a few weeks ago. This was really hard for the family for the obvious reasons, but also because that left just my mom to take care of my grandma who has early end stage Alzheimers. Since Jen is off for the summer, dad asked if she would come to CA to help mom out with the day to day care of Grandma.

Often times the day is difficult and sad because my Grandma is very confused and sad about the loss of her spouse of 60 years. But sometimes there are funny stories that come out of it. Here is one that my sister told me today through instant message: (let me preface this story by telling you that Grandma thinks she has to go to the bathroom every 12 minutes or so, and then lots of times she cant' remember what to do when she sits down. For this reason, plus the fact that she can barely walk, usually either my mom or Jen has to go with her and help out).

"This morning Grandma went to the bathroom so I followed her. When I lifted up her nightgown she didn't have any UNDERWEAR ON!!! I asked mom about it and she started cracking up. Apparently Grandma went to the bathroom earlier and when she came back into the room she said to mom, "something is wrong with my ankles"...wait for it.....

She was walking with her underwear around them! "

The other day she was merrily walking around with her underwear around her thighs.

There is absolutely no dignity in getting old!

June 10, 2009

A letter to...

Dear Bronchitis,

I wish you would go away. You've been hanging around for 4 weeks now and enough is enough. I am tired of coughing and hacking and blowing my nose. I am tired of having no voice. At first it was kind of fun to be a little hoarse, like Phoebe on Friends. And then I lost my voice completely. This made my life and my job as a phone sales person very difficult. After a week and a half my voice is coming back slowly and surely, but it is still not 100%.

Most of all, I'm tired of people asking me if I'm sick. Uh, yeah, OBVIOUSLY!!!

Fortunately for you I am getting my energy and my sense of humor back. But if you hang around much longer, I will have to report you to someone. I'm not sure who yet, but you don't want to stick around to find out!

You have been warned.

Sincerely,

Stacy and her lungs

June 3, 2009

I've blogged before about the nudist colony that I grew up in, aka the Ludlow household. As you know, I am still traumatized by nakedness.

What you might not know is that there was no privacy in my house during other sacred acts as well. For example, potty time was party time in my house. Actual conversation from high school. "Hey, we need to have a family meeting. Oh, Stacy, you're in the bathroom, that's ok, we'll all just come in there". Ok, so maybe it didn't quite happen that way, but I think you understand what I'm saying.

So anyway, this is something that has haunted me throughout my adult life. After many years of people making fun of me, I have finally learned to pee in a public restroom even if I know who is next to me, though I still will try to go several stalls away. Don't get me wrong..just because I CAN pee with you sitting next to me, doesn't mean I think it should be done.

Here are some very vital rules to bathroom etiquette that I think the world is lacking.

1. If you are the office manager/receptionist/assistant/admin/busybody and you happen to sit at the front entrance to the office, don't comment on how many times someone has gone to the bathroom that day. Oh, Stacy, you're going AGAIN??? Yeah, so what?! I have a small bladder and I drink a lot of water!
2. Don't comment on how long someone has been gone. Everyone deserves their own private potty time. Who cares if it took me 7 minutes. Maybe I made a phone call on the way. Maybe I stopped to help an old lady in to the stall. Maybe I had to wait for that same old lady to finish so that I could pee in private. Or maybe it just took me a while. Big Deal!!
3. Don't talk to me in the bathroom. Talking just makes things take longer.
4. If you see my shoes under the stall just pretend you didn't see me.
5. Put the toilet seat down. Every day I walk in to the bathroom at work and the seats are up. IN THE LADIES ROOM! Now, I realize it's because the housekeeper (a dude) cleaned them that morning but come on!
6. Replace the toilet paper roll if you use the last square. And when you replace that roll, be courteous and start the roll for the next person.
7. Don't talk on your cell phone in the bathroom. The person on the other end will recognize the echo!
8. Wash your hands...even if it was only #1. And don't get the paper towel first...that just germs up the paper towels for the rest of us people that know the proper procedure. Step 1. Turn on Water and run hands under it. Step 2. Get soap on hands, rub together and sing twinkle twinkle little star. This is how long you need to wash your hands for to get rid of the germs. Step 3. Rinse your hands. Step 4. Get paper towel and dry hands. Step 4. Use paper towel to open door (I learned this trick from Hilary West while she was a missionary) and discretely toss in garbage on the way out.

Done and Done.

May 11, 2009

Conversation overhead by me this weekend over the fence at my neighbor Amanda's 13th birthday party:

Makaylie: Hey Amanda, did you know that if you skip it means you are gay or lez?
Amanda: No
Makaylie: Yeah, that's why no one skips in P.E.
Amanda: That's dumb
Amanda at the top of her lungs: I'M SKIPPING! I'M SKIPPING! LOOK AT ME! I'M SKIPPING!

I love Amanda...she is so cool.

May 6, 2009

Tonight I am once again reminded of the blessings in my life and my relative lack of personal trials.

A very good friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer today. Through self exam she found a lump in her breast last Thursday. On Friday she had a mammogram which revealed 4 more lumps. Today, Wednesday, an MRI confirmed a 6th lump. Biopsy results should be in on Friday to determine what stage she is in, and Monday she has an appointment with a surgeon to schedule an mastectomy.

There is never a "good" time to have cancer, but this is an especially hard time for her. She is in her mid-forties, has a son getting married next week, and another one leaving on a mission in July. This should be an exciting time for her and her family, and instead they are thinking about chemo, mastectomy and even death.

Talking to her tonight however she sounded very upbeat. She's been able to find a few silver linings in this diagnosis, even if they are silly. Her doctor told her today that she can drink as much Dr. Pepper, her personal drug of choice, as she wants. There's also the likelihood of sudden menopause...I'm not sure which one she is happier about! And she told her husband to start saving his money because they were going on the Breast Cancer Survivor's Cruise to the Grand Cayman Islands next year.

Her sons and husband gave her a priesthood blessing before her doctors appointment. She feels very peaceful and sure that she will beat this. I am grateful that I belong to a religion that believes in the positive power of prayer and priesthood blessings. I am grateful that we believe in hope rather than doubt and fear.

I pray that my friend will be able feel my love for her and that I will know how to be there for her. I pray that her cancer will be treatable and that she will be strong mentally while she goes through this very physically draining ordeal. I pray that one day science will discover a cure to this ugly disease.

May 1, 2009

Actual note posted on the bathroom wall at my doctor's office today. In case you can't read the handwritten part, it says, "Where do I pee?"

I was laughing so hard I almost peed my pants...good thing I was already in the bathroom!!!

April 17, 2009

RIP dear friend


Today I mourn the loss of a dear friend.

When we met 2 years I had no idea that you would become such an integral part of my life.You've been with me through thick and thin..mostly thick. Through working out at the gym (twice I think?), superbowl games, poker nights, visits with our friends, and just relaxing at my house hanging out watching tv, you were always there at my beck and call. I noticed a few months ago that you seemed to be getting worn out. I should have known then that something was wrong and paid more attention to the signs.

It was 2 years ago on a Tuesday (ok, I don't really know what day it was) and I was feeling a bit blue at work. I decided to go to Mervyn's for a little retail therapy (and also because my pants were too tight). I felt this beacon of light drawing me to the athletic wear section. There you were, hanging on the rack all shiny and new. Well, not really shiny, but there in your navy blue glory with a cute green stripe up both legs. I took you in to the dressing and room and tried you on. A perfect fit! You were my new favorite lounge pants!

I spent the next two years snatching up cute green shirts and sweatshirts that would match you so I could be color coordinated. You didn't mind when I wore you 3, 4, 7, 11 days in a row...never complaining. You didn't protest when I got grass stains on you while gardening...in fact you even tried your hardest to repel these stains and worked with the washing machine to remove them.

Then the other day, tragedy struck! I was working out at Curves, and my sister gasped in horror! "Stacy", she said, "you have giant holes in your pants"!!! What?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew right then that your battle had been lost and it was time to lay you to rest.
Yesterday at T.J. Maxx I found a new pair of lounge pants. They are black capris, with a white stripe on both legs. I do love them, but they will never take your place. RIP my little (ok, X-tra Large) friend!

March 24, 2009

I've been getting a little flack about not blogging lately. The truth is that nothing super exciting has been happening AND I've been involved in a marathon of America's Next Top Model, Season 6. Yes, I realize they are on season 11 now, but I got hooked on Oxygen's reruns.

Anyhoo....since my life is pretty boring lately, I thought I'd talk about a couple of random things from my daily commute:

a) The other day we had a huge snowstorm (What? Snow in March you say? Isn't it Spring?! Ha! Welcome to Utah). I cleaned off my car...all 5 windows, the hood, lights, blinkers, etc, and headed off to work. I didn't clean off the top of my car for 2 reasons. 1. It is too tall for me and hard to do with the ski racks and 2. I am lazy.

So I was almost to work and stopped at a light. All of a sudden the SKY WAS FALLING!!! I was trapped in an Avalanche! Ok, nothing that extreme, but the the 6 inches of snow that was piled on top of my car came barreling down on my windshield at break neck speed. I couldn't see, and the snow was too heavy for my windshield wipers to work. So I had to throw my car in park, hit the hazard lights, wait for all of the cars behind me to drive past me, get out of the car, and brush of my windshield. Did I mention that I had rolled a bit in to the intersection before I got my wits about me? It was an adrenaline rush for sure.

b) That same day I was driving home from work, sitting at yet another stop light. I looked briefly at the car to my left. The guy in the car was eating cookies. Normally I wouldn't consider this strange, because I often eat cookies in my car. I mean, who doesn't! But the dude had a really long beard and was getting cookie crumbs all over it...he kindof looked like a homeless guy in a car. I looked away (because I was staring!), but then looked at him again briefly. At this point he was drinking milk from a gallon jug. What Stacy? You say he was drinking milk, from a gallon jug, while driving in the car? Why yes, reader, that's exactly what I said! It was really weird.

c) There is a store front on my daily drive to work that I find strange. It used to be a purple building and housed The Blue Boutique, which is a naughty lingerie store. That store moved down the street to a larger location, and someone painted the building orange and black. There is a sign above the store which says House of Chuckles. Now, I love to chuckle, and imagine a whole house of chuckles! What do they sell you ask? I have no idea...the store is empty and has been ever since I noticed it. I often wonder what happened to it. Was it ever in business? Did people walk in and immediately start chuckling and they laughed themselves silly so they never bought anything? I have no idea, and will probably ever know. But I do get a chuckle when I drive by it anyway.

March 6, 2009

This morning I woke up at 5:19 a.m. with terrible heartburn, not an uncommon event for me. I went in to the kitchen and rummaged through my sister's purse looking for tums. Unfortunately they weren't in there. As I looked around the kitchen, debating whether or not to go downstairs to Jen's bathroom where I knew there were tums, but then risking waking Jen up, I saw a sleeve with some green chewable medication.

Elation! It was a package of Gas-Ex. Now, I know this sounds old lady-ish, but Gas-Ex is my new best friend. Being cursed with chronic stomach problems, I take it ALL THE TIME! I popped that little green "life saver" from the packet, prepared myself for the bad taste (I would like to speak with whoever makes chewable medication and force them to try all the things that supposedly taste good) and popped it in to my mouth.

The taste was horrible as I had expected. But it was not the correct horrible taste. Instantly my mind screamed NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! and I spit out it out. I realized my what I had done....what I had mistaken for a minty chewable Gas-ex was really a minty chewable dog breath mint. GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Needless to say, my heartburn was not cured. But on the plus side, I no longer had morning breath!!

February 25, 2009

I am the first to admit that I have many fears and phobias. For instance, I am a hypochondriac. If I hear of someone with an ailment, I'm constantly evaluating the symptoms to see if I might have this same ailment. I recently watched 3 back to back episodes of Mystery Diagnosis and I'm pretty darn sure that I have all 3 of those rare diseases. So what if I'm not a black man in my 50's with recent travels to Zimbabway. I could still have what he has!

I am scared senseless of mice. There is a little hole in the fence between my garden and the neighbors garden that often times in the spring plays home to a tiny little mouse. I brace myself every time and tell myself not to be afraid, but when I hear it's little feet scratching my heart stops, my feet become cement and my mind cannot make coherent thoughts, except oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh...well you get the picture.

I am VERY afraid of the dark...especially being outside in it alone. I am getting better, but there are still times, ok- every day, that I will run to the house from my car just in case someone is out there lurking in the carport.

But by far my biggest fear is of nakedness. Yes, you read that correctly...NAKEDNESS. You might think this is ridiculous, but this is a lesser known phobia and even has a name...Gymnaphobia. And no, I did not get that from Mystery Diagnosis. My whole life I have been uncomfortable with nakedness. It may have something to do with the fact that I grew up in Nakedville with the Nakedsons. My family LOVES to be naked. Except me. I don't even like to walk around naked in my own home, when I am all alone. And I'm pretty sure my dogs are judging me on the rare occassion that I do risk running from the bathroom to my bedroom after a shower.

I am currently house/dog sitting for my friend Carrie in Park City, UT. She has a nice big house that I have all to myself complete with a steam shower and a hot tub. I had not really taken advantage of either because I also do not like water on my face, especially hot water. Alene and Amber at work were making fun of me for not using the hot tub (did I mention it's outside...in the dark??) and they both said that they go in their hot tubs almost every day....NAKED. WHAT? Are they C-R-A-Z-Y? I laughed at them and told them they were weird.

But then I went home that night and was sitting around with nothing to do, because this house does not have TiVO or a DVR (how do these people LIVE here??!!) and decided it was time. I would use the hot tub. So I locked all the doors, put the dogs in the laundry room (I didn't want them judging me too), turned out all the lights, and went in the hot tub. Naked. In the dark. With hot water on my face. IT WAS LIBERATING!!! I felt alive and slightly brave. Until that is I heard some scratching, which I'm pretty sure was a mouse, so I ran back in the house and went to bed.

February 21, 2009

Happy Fake Spring!

Today was a great day! Last night my sister and a couple of our girlfriends came over to where I am housesitting and we stayed up til 2:30 in the morning laughing and talking (inappropriately at times I must admit). Jen and Kristi headed home at 1:00 a.m., and Peggy and Shana spent the night, along with little Makayla who made it to 10pm before falling apart...she was so excited to sit in the tub with LoLo (that would be in the hot tub with me).

We woke up at 7 and made pancakes and the girls headed home around 9:15. As I let Sid and Snickers, the dogs that I am watching this week, outside for trip #1 to the potty, I realized that today was the first day of "Fake Spring"! For those of you that do not live in Utah, Fake Spring comes around every year around this time. It's a beautiful sun shiny, bird chirping, warm breeze blowing, dog barking kind of day. I walked outside on the large wrap around porch and surveyed my sunny kingdom...or at least my borrowed kingdom for the week. The dogs and I played tug of war with a nasty dog rope and then fetch with some icycles that were melting off the porch. Then we all went inside and took the first nap of the day.

As I headed back down in to the valley, I had my windows partially rolled down, my sun roof open and a good song on the radio. Man I love fake spring! I pulled in to my neighborhood and was instantly reminded of a down side to fake spring. The smell of poo...everywhere. Horse poo and Cow poo...ah! The joys of living in farm country. Except that I don't live in farm country. I live in a suburb of Salt Lake City. In West Valley. The hood. Oh well. Determined not to have this day tarnished, I visited with my sis and my own dogs, then settled in for nap #2. Glorious. Then off to dinner at some friends house, the church for dessert and games, and then back up to Park City where I am writing my blog with 2 sweet dogs laying at my feet. Yep, it was a good day.

Oh, and the reason I call today Fake Spring? We are expected to get 2-4 inches of snow on Tuesday.

February 15, 2009

I love to make lists. (My favorite one is the grocery list, and then without fail I leave it at home when I go to the grocery store). Consequently my blog often tends to be of a "listy" nature. Today's list is on how I know I'm old.

1. I have recently begun sprouting blond hair on my chin.
2. My favorite place to shop is Wal-Mart
3. While I was shopping at Wal-Mart last night, I passed the electronics section and I actually said the words "Does that music HAVE to be SO LOUD"?!!
4. I can no longer watch the Real World/Road Rules challenge...I can't stand all of the fighting and the drunken escapades.
5. My friends at work were talking the other day about how they remembered the internet coming out in jr. high! I, on the other hand, did not get my first email account until I was 22.
6. I am lost when it comes to new technology. I often have to ask my co-workers to help me with facebook/my blog/iTunes radio, etc.
7. Some times I drive home and realize about 15 minutes in to the ride that I do not have the radio on. Other times I put the radio on the KSL news channel to hear the traffic and then I realize 20 minutes later that I am still listening to the news. And enjoying it!
8. I actively search for ways to incorporate more fiber in to my diet.
9. I do not understand the appeal of boys wearing girls jeans and belting them around their knees with their entire boxer shorted rear ends hanging out.
10. I had to call my friend the other day to ask how long to allow a baby to cry in his crib before I went and picked him back up.
11. I have no idea who the new young celebrities are on the red carpet and in the magazines.
12. I remember when Brad Pitt was hot.

I have many many more things that could go on this list, but I've worn myself out typing and now must go take a nap. Ooooh...that leads me to #13!

13. I have recently begun taking naps on the floor in my office in order to make it through the day.

February 3, 2009

A letter to...

Dear M&Ms,

Why oh why are you SO delicious?? I planned on being good today and brought lots of healthy snacks.

But then you appeared in all of your candy covered chocolatey goodness. I was forced to eat several (and by several I mean about a hundred) handfuls of you. You are the best M&Ms that I have ever had.

And now I have a canker sore on my tongue. I blame you, M&Ms. But I still love you and will continue to have you in my life.

Thank you for all the joy you have brought to me over the years.

Love,
Stacy

January 28, 2009

Say what??



In case you can't read this foolishness, it's an invite to doggy yoga. What will they think of next?

P.S. You can click on the pic to enlarge it.

January 23, 2009

In case you still need a reason to stop smoking

Actual email between me and my friend "Chaz" (name has been changed to protect the stupid).

Him: Sorry I have been out of the office since Thursday.. Hope you got it taken care of..??

Me: Yeah, Tracy came through for me. You ok?

Him: I am fine.. I caught my porch on fire with my cigarette on Friday, so I had to take the day off to fix it... LOL!!!! Sounds like a joke but its the truth!!

Me: Stop it! I am dying! I thought you quit smoking? What a moron!

January 20, 2009

My very good friend, Renee, has recently been diagnosed with MS. She is only 32 years old and has a one year old son. I am joining this walk to help find a cure for my friend and for others with this debilitating disease. Please either donate to my walk, or become a team member and walk with us on April 11. You can click on the links below to find out more information on MS and this event.

The National MS Society is kicking off our annual Walk MS Presented by Questar. I am planning to be a part of this inspiring event and I am asking you to join me in the movement to MS by making a contribution to support my effort.

The National Multiple Sclerosis Society
is dedicated to ending the unpredictability of MS. They simultaneously fund research for a cure while also helping people who currently live with MS lead more fulfilling lives. I believe in the work they do, and I invite you to see for yourself all the good they've done for the MS community. More than 400,000 Americans live with MS, and your support can and will make changes in their lives.

Please help by making a donation - large or small - to end MS. Or, why not join me at the event? Become a participant and side by side, as teammates, we can work together to raise the funds to make a difference.

Whatever you can give will help! I greatly appreciate your support and will keep you posted on my progress.

Sincerely,

Stacy Ludlow

Click here to get to my personal page and make a secure, online donation.
To send a donation: Make all checks payable to: National MS SocietyMail to: 3904 Kallie Circle West Valley, UT84120-3711

January 19, 2009

Mimi is my sister's Chihuahua. My sister says she's my Chihuahua. I know she is not mine, because MY dog, Dandie, is an angel...the perfect addition to any family. Mimi is a terror in doggy form. We like to call her Satana...as in the doggy spawn of Satan.

Mimi is N-A-U-G-H-T-Y!!! She brings new meaning to this word. She goes to the bathroom in the house whenever she feels like it. She gets her nose in to EVERYTHING! She climbs up on the kitchen table (coffee table, window sills, bathtub...whatever you leave open) and rummages through things. Today Jen called me and said that Mimi dragged an entire bag of garbage out of Jen's bath tub (where she hid it so that Mimi would not get in to it), knocking over a gallon sized shampoo bottle all over the floor.

Mimi is also dog aggressive. She has tried to take down a neighborhood pit bull. She fights with the neighbors cocker spaniel through the fence. She has terrorized any poor foster dog that we dare to bring in to our loving home.

Mimi's biggest problem is that she eats things. Bad things...EXPENSIVE things!

Things Mimi has eaten:
  • A hair brush (the day after we said we'd adopt her...cost us $1000 for emergency surgery, to find out she had already passed it).
  • Too many shoes to count...including Jen's $70 shoes and $150 shoes, and 3 of my Ann Taylor flip flops...all in the same day
  • My underwear
  • Dryer Sheats
  • The bathroom garbage
  • A prescription bottle (thankfully empty)
  • A box of tic-tacs...including the plastic box
  • Cherry Menthol Cough Drops
  • Numerous cd cases
  • Bandaids
  • Poop (GROSS!)
  • 12 oz of Williams Sonoma Peppermint Bark (this almost killed her last week)
  • And the list goes on.
One day Mimi might find herself out on the streets. We will tie her belongings to a stick with a bandana and send her on her merry way. But for now, we keep working with her and loving her. We are taking her to Doggy Boot Camp in a couple of weeks to work on her behavior and teaching her boundaries.

People (my Dad especially) ask why we don't feed her to a shark or "accidentally" leave the door open. We cannot explain why we love her so much. She's like the old nursery ryhme...When she is good...she is very very good. But when she is bad...she is horrid! But seriously, how can you not love her when you wake up to this.....

January 6, 2009

It is currently 32 degrees in Utah, with a light snow that has been falling all day. 32 is actually warm. It was a high of 20 this weekend, with a low of 8 degrees.

But on Thursday I will be in sunny California, where it is a high of 70 degrees. Yes, that's right...Disneyland is finally here! My sister and I have been talking about going to Disneyland for her birthday for the last few years. Thanks to Get Away Today, we decided this is the year!

We are going with Jen's friends Amy and Judy. I am so excited I can hardly stand it! I have not been to Disneyland since my junior year of high school when I went with my ward in Pleasanton, CA. Sadly, this was almost 20 years ago. Yikes, I am old!

Updates to come next week...and if you see Micky or Minnie in the mean time, tell them I'm on my way!!!
 

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