December 28, 2009

A day of wonderment and delight

My Christmas vacation is almost over.  One more day in the land of sun and warmth (if you consider 53 degrees warm).  Some highlights of my trip so far...

1. Reading the story of the Savior's birth on Christmas Morning before the opening of gifts.  A reminder of the true meaning of Christmas.
2. My dad telling my sister and I how proud he is of the women we've become.
3. My plethora of gifts..including...drum roll...THE PERFECT BROWNIE PAN!!!  My sister rocks.
4. Jen, Mom and I playing Rummikub and laughing til we cried.  Then making a joke that Grandpa always used to make about being tired and needing to go to bed.  Then bursting in to tears and crying until we laughed.
5. Cookies.  Aunt Lani's delicious chocolate cake. Garlic smashed potatoes made in my brand new pressure cooker.  Dad's stuffing.  Cheesy grits.  Omelets at Dean's Cafe tomorrow morning.
6. Sleeping in til 10:00 every day....and even later on some days!
7. Princess Bride. Cheesey Christmas movies.  The Librarian 3. Hours of movie watching on the big screen tv and cuddly blankets.
8. Matching Christmas Jammies for Jen, mom and me.
9. Mom rubbing my arm and tickling my back.  She is the best back tickler in all the land.
10.  The feelings of love and comfort while being back home with those that love me best.

December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas Eve!

Merry Christmas Eve everyone!  I hope  you are all ready for the big day tomorrow.  The shopping should be done, the cookies should be baked, and the stockings should be hung by the chimney with care.  For Santa is on his way!

If you want to track the fat man, rudolph and his sleigh, you can click here to see where he is. SANTA TRACKER.

I'm off to California for a few days to visit my parents.

Ho Ho Ho and Happy Holiday!

December 22, 2009

My first Post-it Note Tuesday!

Christmas Cookie Rules

To clarify, I did not write these rules, they were sent to me in an email.  That doesn't make them any less true though!

1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.
2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.
3. If a friend comes over while you're making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend's first cookie is calories free, (rule #1) yours is also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free.
4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.
6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter. Make more red ones!
7. Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.

8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking Causes calorie leakage..

9. Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate. We all know how calories like to CLING!

10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories. It's a rule!

So, go out and enjoy those Christmas Cookies - we only get them this time of year!

December 17, 2009

Dear Bob's Sweet Stripes candies,

You are little melty in my mouth pieces of joy.  Why do you only come out at Christmas time?  You are the perfect mixture of peppermint flavor with almost the consistency of a butter mint.  With just a little crunch to get through your light outer shell you dissolve in to pure peppermint bliss.  You are gone so fast that sometimes I'm not sure I even ate I sample another just to confirm and to remember your sweet taste on my tongue.

Truly your only fault is the annoying little plastic wrappers that you come in.  Why, Bob's Sweet Stripes candies, do you want to waste my time with these?

Please re-consider a year round job.


Amy Grant - Boo Hiss

I have a confession.  I hope I do not lose friends over this.  I despise have a strong dislike for Amy Grant.  I really don't think of her all that often...except at Christmas time.  Because I love her song Emmanuel.  And Tennessee Christmas.  And that whole stinkin' album of hers.

But I can't listen to it anymore.  I am a woman of principles.  Once I decide someone is dead to me to dislike someone intensely it takes more than a chipper Christmas song or some sappy ABC tv special to get back in to my good graces.

Here's the thing.  I am not a preachy kind of gal.  I love all people of all races, religions and creeds. (truth be told I don't really know what a creed is, other than that rock band that my sister intensely despises as well).  I was raised to never judge and have had friends and family from all walks of life.  But I am proud to be LDS, a mormon, even with all of our crazy ways.  And Amy Grant has spoken many times against the mormons and how we are abominations in the sight of God.  And then she stole Vince Gill from his wife.

So yes Amy Grant, you have a lovely voice.  And maybe you have a lovely heart and personality as well.  But I don't see it.  And I forgive you....I just won't buy any more of your albums.

December 16, 2009

It's a Bird, It's a Plane....

It's Super Mimi!  AKA Mimi on Crack.  Sometimes she gets a little bee in her bonnet and she runs around like a crazy person dog.  And all you have to say to get her going again is "I'm gonna get you!"  and she's off like a shot!

I can't get the video to load so please see Super Mimi here on You Tube.

P.S. Ignore the blankets everywhere...I've been sick...and lazy.

December 14, 2009

Ten Essential Holiday Tips!

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit.  In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately.  Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can.  And quickly.  Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare.  In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch.  You can't find it any other time of year but now.  So drink up!  Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip?  It's not  as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something.  It's a treat.  Enjoy it.  Have one for me. Have two.  It's later than you think.  It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it.  That's the whole point of gravy.  Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on.  Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes.  Fill it with gravy.  Eat the volcano.  Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk.  If it's skim, pass.  Why bother?  It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it.  Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's.  You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.  This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound  plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge.  Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention.  They're like a beautiful pair of shoes.  If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies.  Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat.  Have a slice of each.  Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin.  Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert?  Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake?  Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost.  I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention.  Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.  Remember this motto to live by: 

"Life should NOT be a journey to the  grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, drink in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a  ride!"

Have a great holiday season!

December 11, 2009

Eat the World?

I took sign language in high school.  I loved it!  It was the one subject that I was actually good at.

For some reason hearing people love to do songs in sign language.  I don't really understand this.  Deaf people can't hear music.  Anyhoo, for my sign language final I translated and signed "Feed the World" by Band Aid.  Man I loved that song!  (It's on my music player if you want to hear a little sample).

I signed the entire song and was pretty proud of myself.  I was confident that I had aced it and had blown everyone out of the water with my mad skills.  Until my friend Cindy let me know that I had signed "Eat the World" instead of "Feed the World" for the entire song.  Woops....Now THAT was embarrassing!

December 9, 2009

My first blog award!

Well goodness gracious, if I don't feel SPECIAL today!  My bloggy bff Mrs. Foxy at the Foxy den gave me this little doozie today:

I just don't know what to do with myself, other than to accept it and admit that I too heart her blog.  We met through SITS and it was instant friendship.  I mean, she's awesome, I'm awesome, what's not to get?

So thanks Mrs. Foxy for the recognition.  Blogging has been so fun and I am constantly trying to think of witty stuff to put out here in the blogosphere.

I hope you all have a wonderfully wacky Wednesday.  I'm off to meet with the potty doctor (not his official title I'm sure) and see if we can't solve these stomach problems.  Then it's the Low Dough Christmas Show tonight... Phil Vassar, Bucky Covington and some chick named Bombshell.  Can't beat $5 concert tickets with 5 of my favorite ladies!

Ya'll come back now, hear?

December 7, 2009

Merry SITSmas!

Hello friends.  I belong to an awesome blog group called SITS.  This is my first year participating in SITSmas, the kick off to holiday wishes!

Last night I made my first batch of annual Christmas event.  My grandparents started this tradition early in to their 60 year marriage.  Homemade caramels and turtles and peanut clusters...OH MY!  Several years ago my grandpa decided he was too old to do the annual candy making.  I asked him if he would teach me how to make it so that I could carry on the tradition.  He painstakingly showed me how to make the candy, repeating every detail so that I could memorize it.  At the time I was annoyed that  he was SO SLOOOOOOOOOW.  I was even a bit rude, and acted as if I knew better than him and did a lot of mental eye rolling.  And of course my candies NEVER turned out as good as his.

This is the first Christmas since my Grandfather's death this past May.  The first year of me truly carrying on the family tradition without him.  As I was stirring the cream in to the butter and sugar I felt a little teary eyed and wished that I had been more patient with  my Grandpa.  That I had cherished the times that we spend together rather than being impatient and impudent.

My Christmas wish this year is for love and compassion for all.  That we will be reminded of our blessings and cherish our families.  I hope my Grandpa knew how much I loved him even if I didn't show it enough.

Merry Christmas to all...and may you enjoy the peace that the holidays bring!

Little Miss Look at my Butt

My sister and I foster dogs for a no kill agency in Utah called Utah Animal Advocay Foundation.  This weekend we got a new dog named Teva.  She is gorgeous.  We're not sure what she is, but she's around 8 lbs and cuddles up like a little doll.

I had to go to the County Animal Shelter to pick her up. That place is so sad.  So many poor dogs waiting to be adopted, and so many of them run out of time.  Teva's last day was Saturday.  I'm so glad we were able to save her.

One of the downsides to getting a dog from an animal shelter is that they are often very dirty and covered in poo.  Teva was no exception to this rule.  Typically we don't bathe them until day 2 so as to reduce the stress of the first day.  I am no doggy washing pro, so I usually strip down to my unders and put on an apron because I often end up as wet as the dog. Since Teva was new and I wasn't sure how she would handle a bath (turns out not very well!) I asked my sister to help me wash her. I was able to stay mostly dry.

After bathing her I took her downstairs to blow her dry (which she hated) and then got on the computer for the first time all weekend.  As I headed back upstairs, with my sister right behind me, I realized with dismay that I hadn't gotten dressed and was still wearing just an apron and my undies.  How embarrassing!  I felt like that line from Heart and Souls about "Little Miss Look at my Butt".  As I went upstairs I turned off all the lights....or so I thought.  I went to the close the blinds to the sliding glass door and accidentally turned the light on to my back porch....and gave my neighbors a show...of me.. in my underwear and my watermelon apron.  I hope they will recover from the grotesque site quickly.

December 2, 2009

Feeling over looked?

Tired of being invisible?  Do you sit unnoticed on the sidelines while others are picked?  Try the latest scarf fashion and you too will be the center of attention.