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June 22, 2009

This past Friday I took my neighbors' 3 kids to an outdoor movie to watch Hotel For Dogs. My friend Shana came with her 2 kids as well.

Everyone was so excited to be outside and watch the movie...until it actually started. THEN they wanted to play on the jungle jim. Now I was torn. Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE dogs and I also LOVE kid movies. So I really wanted to watch the movie. But of course I couldn't leave the kids alone in the dark playing on the jungle jim, so I went along with them. Fortunately the screen showed the movie from the back as well. So what if it was backwards? I still pretty much got the idea.

I had a really good time and the kids played really well together. I'm always amazed at how quickly kids become friends. Since I can be a bit shy and awkward at meeting new people, I decided to listen to what kind of questions they were asking each other. Mostly they were the standard get to know you kid questions. What grade are you in, how old are you, etc. My favorite question however was "How many teeth have you lost"? I got a good chuckle at that one. I don't think I'll add it to my list of things to ask at parties or social gatherings, but it seemed to work for the 7 and 8 year old boy.

June 18, 2009

My grandpa died a few weeks ago. This was really hard for the family for the obvious reasons, but also because that left just my mom to take care of my grandma who has early end stage Alzheimers. Since Jen is off for the summer, dad asked if she would come to CA to help mom out with the day to day care of Grandma.

Often times the day is difficult and sad because my Grandma is very confused and sad about the loss of her spouse of 60 years. But sometimes there are funny stories that come out of it. Here is one that my sister told me today through instant message: (let me preface this story by telling you that Grandma thinks she has to go to the bathroom every 12 minutes or so, and then lots of times she cant' remember what to do when she sits down. For this reason, plus the fact that she can barely walk, usually either my mom or Jen has to go with her and help out).

"This morning Grandma went to the bathroom so I followed her. When I lifted up her nightgown she didn't have any UNDERWEAR ON!!! I asked mom about it and she started cracking up. Apparently Grandma went to the bathroom earlier and when she came back into the room she said to mom, "something is wrong with my ankles"...wait for it.....

She was walking with her underwear around them! "

The other day she was merrily walking around with her underwear around her thighs.

There is absolutely no dignity in getting old!

June 10, 2009

A letter to...

Dear Bronchitis,

I wish you would go away. You've been hanging around for 4 weeks now and enough is enough. I am tired of coughing and hacking and blowing my nose. I am tired of having no voice. At first it was kind of fun to be a little hoarse, like Phoebe on Friends. And then I lost my voice completely. This made my life and my job as a phone sales person very difficult. After a week and a half my voice is coming back slowly and surely, but it is still not 100%.

Most of all, I'm tired of people asking me if I'm sick. Uh, yeah, OBVIOUSLY!!!

Fortunately for you I am getting my energy and my sense of humor back. But if you hang around much longer, I will have to report you to someone. I'm not sure who yet, but you don't want to stick around to find out!

You have been warned.

Sincerely,

Stacy and her lungs

June 3, 2009

I've blogged before about the nudist colony that I grew up in, aka the Ludlow household. As you know, I am still traumatized by nakedness.

What you might not know is that there was no privacy in my house during other sacred acts as well. For example, potty time was party time in my house. Actual conversation from high school. "Hey, we need to have a family meeting. Oh, Stacy, you're in the bathroom, that's ok, we'll all just come in there". Ok, so maybe it didn't quite happen that way, but I think you understand what I'm saying.

So anyway, this is something that has haunted me throughout my adult life. After many years of people making fun of me, I have finally learned to pee in a public restroom even if I know who is next to me, though I still will try to go several stalls away. Don't get me wrong..just because I CAN pee with you sitting next to me, doesn't mean I think it should be done.

Here are some very vital rules to bathroom etiquette that I think the world is lacking.

1. If you are the office manager/receptionist/assistant/admin/busybody and you happen to sit at the front entrance to the office, don't comment on how many times someone has gone to the bathroom that day. Oh, Stacy, you're going AGAIN??? Yeah, so what?! I have a small bladder and I drink a lot of water!
2. Don't comment on how long someone has been gone. Everyone deserves their own private potty time. Who cares if it took me 7 minutes. Maybe I made a phone call on the way. Maybe I stopped to help an old lady in to the stall. Maybe I had to wait for that same old lady to finish so that I could pee in private. Or maybe it just took me a while. Big Deal!!
3. Don't talk to me in the bathroom. Talking just makes things take longer.
4. If you see my shoes under the stall just pretend you didn't see me.
5. Put the toilet seat down. Every day I walk in to the bathroom at work and the seats are up. IN THE LADIES ROOM! Now, I realize it's because the housekeeper (a dude) cleaned them that morning but come on!
6. Replace the toilet paper roll if you use the last square. And when you replace that roll, be courteous and start the roll for the next person.
7. Don't talk on your cell phone in the bathroom. The person on the other end will recognize the echo!
8. Wash your hands...even if it was only #1. And don't get the paper towel first...that just germs up the paper towels for the rest of us people that know the proper procedure. Step 1. Turn on Water and run hands under it. Step 2. Get soap on hands, rub together and sing twinkle twinkle little star. This is how long you need to wash your hands for to get rid of the germs. Step 3. Rinse your hands. Step 4. Get paper towel and dry hands. Step 4. Use paper towel to open door (I learned this trick from Hilary West while she was a missionary) and discretely toss in garbage on the way out.

Done and Done.
 

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