Told ya so!

Once upon a time there was a girl named "Ycats".  She didn't like to be told what to do and was a bit of a know it all (even though she was still awesomely fun..and beautiful).  She also liked to fancy herself as frugal at times.

One particular Friday her friend from high-school "Ydnim" came in to town to visit for the weekend.  That night as they were driving around (after seeing a ridiculously horrible movie "From Paris with Love") Ycats realized she was running low on gas, so she pulled in to the nearest gas station.  It was the ludicrous price of $2.71 per gallon!  Well, being the frugal person that she was, and knowing Costco sells it for $.10 less a gallon, Ycats put in 3 gallons of gas and decided to fill up for realzies the next day.  Ydnim told her several times how dumb this was and that she should just fill up now.  Ycats said it would be fine and did a mental eye roll..

The next day Ycats got up and dropped her dog off at the groomers.  Then she went grocery shopping and to work, never stopping to get gas.  Ydnim said a few times that she should fill up. Each time Ycats said they would go to Costco and get it and that they would be fine.  On the way to High Tea at a fancy hotel downtown, Ydnim suggested again that they should stop for gas.  Ycats had HAD it!  She finally roared  politely said, "Let it go!  We'll be fine!  I get 24 miles to the gallon and I haven't gone 75 miles today!"  Ydnim could have let it go as requested, but instead she said "well I hope so because I'm not pushing your car on the freeway".  Ycats did an ACTUAL eye roll this time, AND checked her watch to see if it was Monday at 10:30 a.m. yet.

Tea was lovely.  Since neither of us, um, I mean the 2 girls, actually drink tea, they chose deliciously flavored hot cocoa.  Finger sandwiches, scones with lemon curd, delicious desserts...oh what a divine experience!

Tea was over and Ycats declared that they would get gas and then do some shopping.  Ydnim had not been to Salt Lake in 15 years and wanted to see all the changes that had taken place downtown.  The girls drove around for a bit and then headed straight to Costco.  Laugh Laugh Laugh, talk talk talk, fun fun fun.  She was just about to pull in to the Costco parking lot, when all of a sudden Ycats yelled "I'm running out of....." and then the car stalled!  With a sickening feeling of "oh crap, she's going to kill me", Ycats admitted to Ydnim that she had in fact run out of gas.  Ycats got out her trusty phone to call her sister, but wait, what's happening here?  Ydnim was getting out of the car, yelling "YOU SUCK" and then proceeded to try to push the car (which is really a SUV and quite heavy if you were to ask me, not that I'd know from first hand experience).  After calling Ycats a dumb a$$ and telling her that it might be easier to push the car if it were (was?) IN NEUTRAL, Ydnim was moving right along.  Ycats was trying to push and steer and not laugh and cry and poop her pants.   After SEVERAL chivalrous men drove past us, er...them, a lovely hispanic gentleman with gold teeth pulled over and helped push.

Ycats tried with all of her might to aide in the process, but being over weight, with a slight case of asthma and her unfortunate height of 5-foot 5, her little flinstone legs were having a hard time keeping up.  Finally, when at one point Ydnim and Mr. Golden Teeth picked up speed, Ycats did what she had to do to prevent from falling under the wheels and facing certain death...she jumped in the car and rode the rest of the way to the pumps.  (which I've been told, was QUITE a distance).

With the Chariots of Fire theme song playing in the background, and Ydnim and MGT pushing the last 10 yards with all their might, the little SUV glided in to the gas pump, with people cheering and clapping on the sidelines.  Ok,  not really.  But several were laughing and pointing.  Yeah, real funny guys!

Ycats got out of the car, apologizing profusely to Ydnim, who was quick to point out the price on the pump.  $2.69.  Gulp.  Uh, Sorry 'bout that, dude!  Fortunately for Ycats, Ydnim was quick to forgive and did NOT spend the rest of the weekend saying Told ya So, and repeating the story to everybody in ear shot...including the 2 old ladies at the fabric counter of the Mormon Handicraft.

Moral of the story?  Don't have your old friends from high school come visit when you are low on gas.

My Retirement from Blind Dating

Don't get too excited gals...this is not a marriage announcement.  Instead it is a I'VE HAD IT WITH CRAZY BLIND DATES announcement.

Now, don't get me wrong.  In the beginning of the blind dating life cycle, it is flattering when someone thinks enough of you that they would want to set you up with one of their friends and hope that you will be as happy in love as they are with their spouse blah, blah, blah, yaddy yaddy yaddy.  However, after a few years of this, you learn that instead these married people think, "Hey, you're single, this dude's single, you should love each other."

Most of the time...not gonna happen.  Pull up a chair while I relate  my most recent experience.

A couple of weeks ago my friend J said that she and her husband M had been wanting to set me up with their friend M2 since they'd met me 6 months before.  I said sure, let's go on a double date (because believe me, I've learned my lesson about single blind dates).  A few days later it was set up and off we went.

The plan was to meet for dinner this past Saturday night.  J & M picked  me up and we drove to the restaurant.  As we stood outside in front of the open fire pit (mmm....toasty), I saw a guy walk around the corner and I thought, "Please don't be him".  Not because he was hideous or anything, but because he bore an uncanny resemblance to my dad.  Whom I definitely do not want to date.  He also bore a slight resemblance to an actor from a cult classic 80s movie (think, "INCONCEIVABLE!")  Sure enough, he walked right up to us.  M introduced M2 to me, he shook my hand, said hello, and those were the last words he spoke to me during dinner.   Fortunately I was sitting across from J and we had a lovely meal together.

After dinner we split up for a scavenger hunt.  Now, this could have been a cute idea if I had been with a guy who I was even slightly interested in (or vice versa).  Instead it was a chore.  We drove to several stores and took pictures of the required items, taking no time for laughter or silliness.  We were on a mission after all....to finish the scavenger hunt before J & M and head back to M2s house where the night's excitement was about to begin.  I texted J telling her we were done and sending subliminal messages to hurry the heck up and head over to his house.  She said they were stopping for ice-cream.

The drive to his house was relatively quick. We had some light chatter about his life, and then we pulled in to the driveway.  The first thing he did when we got inside was to give me a quick tour of his house...or more specifically his most prized possessions....The Wall o' Light Sabers.  Yes. Light. Sabers.  As in from Star Wars.  He took one off the wall, turned it on, and handed it to me.  I took it from him and  before I could think "What in the SAM HILL (real thoughts edited) am I supposed to do with this thing", he took another one down the wall, turned it on, and proceeded to assume the position.  What position?  Uh...Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker's Face Off...duh!  I found myself standing there, desperately looking around the room for the hidden camera,  Or for J & M to come save me.  Not to happen of course.

We played light sabers for a few minutes and then he got out his favorite movie for us to watch.  Shrek 3D.  Yep, complete with 3D glasses.  I went to sit down on his comfy looking couch, when he quickly pointed out that that was his seat and I needed to move over.  Good golly miss molly, is this night over yet?  Nope, still waiting for my "friends" to show up.  Finally they showed up, made a joke about getting distracted by a front loader washer on sale (from the scavenger hunt list, of course).  We finished watching Shrek 3D.  We then watched another quick show which was actually pretty funny, and then the 3 of them proceeded to talk for an hour.  I chimed in every now and then.  Then M2s sister and her 4 kids showed up.  You would think this would signal the date to be over.  Nope, they stayed for a while, he played light sabers with the kids, and they left.  We stayed for another 30 minutes or so until finally J said we should leave so she could get the babysitter home.

Sweet Lucille..I was saved!  Night over at 10:30.  Now don't get me wrong.  It wasn't terrible.  He was nice and J & M seemed to truly enjoy his friendship.  I hope they will live a long and happy life together as friends. I just don't want to be part of it.

This past Friday I took my neighbors' 3 kids to an outdoor movie to watch Hotel For Dogs. My friend Shana came with her 2 kids as well.

Everyone was so excited to be outside and watch the movie...until it actually started. THEN they wanted to play on the jungle jim. Now I was torn. Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE dogs and I also LOVE kid movies. So I really wanted to watch the movie. But of course I couldn't leave the kids alone in the dark playing on the jungle jim, so I went along with them. Fortunately the screen showed the movie from the back as well. So what if it was backwards? I still pretty much got the idea.

I had a really good time and the kids played really well together. I'm always amazed at how quickly kids become friends. Since I can be a bit shy and awkward at meeting new people, I decided to listen to what kind of questions they were asking each other. Mostly they were the standard get to know you kid questions. What grade are you in, how old are you, etc. My favorite question however was "How many teeth have you lost"? I got a good chuckle at that one. I don't think I'll add it to my list of things to ask at parties or social gatherings, but it seemed to work for the 7 and 8 year old boy.