October 23, 2014

Conversations with My Massage Therapist

Last night I got a much needed massage.  I love my massage therapist.  He is a hoot.  Typically when I go to get a massage I just want to sleep and not talk.  I told him that the first time I went to him.  He said ok I can do that.  That was a year ago and he hasn't stopped talking since.  He's so funny though that I really don't mind.

Some examples:

Me: Ouch!  That hurts! Too hard!
Him:  Anytime you feel any discomfort just let me know.
Me: Um, yeah, I thought I just did.
Him: Just speak up annnnnytime now.  Don't be afraid to say something.

Him (while shaking out my arm and causing all sorts of seismic activity under my sheet):  Isn't it weird that some of my clients feel uncomfortable when they're jiggling all over the place?
Me: Yeah, I was just thinking if you weren't already gay I probably just turned you.

Me (in the middle of some crazy medieval stretches): Am I covered well enough?
Him: Believe me honey, I'm not trying to look anywhere.  Nobody wants to see your kitty cat.

Me: Am I your wimpiest client?
Him:  No of course not.
A minute later
Him: But you're definitely in my top 5.
Me: Ouch

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