1. You get there right when the open to avoid standing in any lines
2. Every sentence starts with "For $23 per person you'd think they would ... (have cleaner bathrooms, have more free tubes, have fresh hot dog buns, etc...)
3. After eating your $1 hot dog you wonder if it was worth the dollar
4. You get light headed and nauseous after walking up the stairs to the very first (and subsequently) last water slide of the day.
5. The lazy river is too rapid for you.
6. You fall asleep on the lounge chair and start snoring instead of sitting and talking to your friends.
7. You consider purchasing a swim cap so as not to get your hair wet
8. You tell a child that he is being rude and inconsiderate when he almost runs over you with his tube in the wave pool. And then seethe when he shrugs his shoulders and paddles away.
9. You briefly consider swimming after that same child and holding him under water for 12 seconds, but then decide not to because you really have to get of the pool to go potty.
10. You are so exhausted and sore that night after 5 hours of laying around in the sun all day that you can't mow the lawn. Or empty the dishwasher. Or carry on a coherent conversation.