June 23, 2011

I'm Confused About the Nipples

A few weeks ago I had the blessed experience of passing a 2nd kidney stone.  So fun.

Anyway, one night my kidney must have been hurting particularly badly while I was sleeping because I had the following dream:

I was on a cruise with my family and I got called in to the ship's doctor's office.  They had received an emergency transmission from my doctor back home with my x-ray results.  I had been diagnosed with a terminal kidney disease.  My kidneys were filling up with tiny little nipples and creating a blockage.  I was astounded! (It was particularly hard for me to hear because I am allergic to the word nipples.  And any other embarrassing female body part for that matter). I asked her to clarify, "Did you say N-I-P-P-L-E-S?"  She said "Yes, Nipples.  It's Extremely rare!"

The prognosis was not good.  This extremely rare disease was going to kill me in 19 - 99 years.  And I could no longer eat any food.  None.  No Food! Ever! Again!  They needed to immediately hook me up to a food drip.  I argued with the nurse that I had already eaten breakfast so I didn't need it today, and that I was on a cruise ship filled with food!  Couldn't I just have the drip for breakfast and lunch and eat a sensible dinner?  The obvious answer was no.  Drastic measures had to be taken immediately.

So, like any girl who loves cake would do, I woke up crying.  It took me a minute to realize it was just a crazy dream. 

As I was telling my sister about it, we were able to understand most of it.  We had gone to a bbq the night before and talked about the cruise and how amazing the food was.  We had also discussed buying slim fast at Costco that same day and you know their policy...a shake for breakfast and lunch and 1 sensible meal for dinner.  My sister then said "Well, I guess it all makes sense.  But I'm still confused about the nipples".

I said "Well sister, It's extremely rare!"  Which has now become our new catch phrase.

4 comments:

  1. Only you would have such a hilarious dream! Hope you are feeling much better now.



    Nipples. Ha!

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  2. Oh girl - that would make me not want to go back to sleep! And I hate that word too. I refer to them as "Nipps". I hope the rest of your life is kidney stone free!

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  3. From Nadine... So glad I am not the only one with crazy way out weird dreams... mine had talking half man half cricket men and a cat that had spikes on its head when it got mad at you and head bunted you with them.... and then i wake up to the kitten playing with the loose ruffle on my blanket.... what is that all about.. lol

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  4. LMFAO!!! I cannot stop laughing about the spelling of N-I-P-P-L-E-S.... and you're right...it is extremely rare.

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What's up little pup?