Granny Master Flash

Thursday night I was working at job numero dos and having a merry old time.  There were Christmas songs on the radio and the flow of people was relatively steady.  Which is nice when you are at your 2nd job for the day and you are pooped and really just want to go home.  The slooooooooowww nights just make you want to die.

So this little old lady wanders in and says she's looking for a dress.  I show her around the store at a snail's pace, trying to match my shuffle to hers, and then deposit her in the dressing room, promising to check on her in a few minutes.

Suddenly there are more people in the store than my little co-worker and I can manage and we get stuck at the register for the next 30 minutes.  I figure Grandma has left by now but I ask my manager to go back and check on her.  Her daughter and granddaughter had since shown up and they were helping her now.

About 15 minutes later I go in to check on her and she opens the dressing room door in a dress 2 sizes too large, which is hanging off her poor little old lady body.   I say "Oh dear, that's way too big, let's try on a smaller size".  She says Ok and proceeds to take the dress off.  In front of me.  And the open door way.  And the entire dressing room.  And part of the hallway.  And I wanted to die. 

Fortunately her granddaughter stepped up to the plate and helped her out of the dress, closing the door slightly. Oh so very slightly.  I happily ran out of the dressing room screaming left to check on another customer and gathered my wits about me.  (You do remember that I fear nakedness, right?)

Finally we find a dress for the streaker Grandma and off she goes.  Probably to show her underwears to some other poor unsuspecting sales girl in a different store.

About an hour later my manager says to me, "Oh by the way.  Thanks a lot for making me check on that old lady. She totally flashed me in her granny panties and bra".  I got a good chuckle out of that and was relieved that I wasn't the only one that had to endure the terrible vision that still haunts me to this day.

Katy's Quotes of the Day

Katy (out loud):  Wait.  I think I'm stupid.

um...ok.


Me: Do you think 7:30 p.m. is too late to call someone?
Katy:  Depends on where they live.

Um...really?

And yes, she is blonde.  Click here for more of Katy's funnys

An Award? For moi??

A few months ago I was given an award by the Beehive Blog.  I was honored (she said my blog makes her giggle) and promised to follow up on it.  And....I forgot.

So here I am, several months later, ready to get on it like blue bonnet.

The rules are:

• Thank the person who gave you the award.  (I did back in August...does that count? Prob not!)
• Share seven things about yourself.
• Give this award out to 15 other bloggers that you think are fabulous, interesting and deserving.
• Contact each of the bloggers you chose.

And now for 7 things you never wanted to know about me:

1.  I am addicted to cleaning my ears with Q-Tips.  I do it every day.  Sometimes I do it twice or three times.  I love the feeling of it.  I am a very itchy person.  And this is much better than making that crazy pig noise with your throat while trying to scratch your brain through your ear drums.
2.  I gave up caffeine 10 years ago.  I just decided I didn't need it anymore.  Until about 4 months ago.  Since then I've needed it every day.  Sometimes twice or three times. (hmm...I'm seeing a pattern here).
3.  I think mean thoughts about at least one person a day. Not always the same person either.
4.  I feel super intimidated by teenage boys.  I think it's a throw back to my high school days.  I hate when I'm driving by a car of them and they look at me and make a funny face or whatever.  I try to just look straight ahead and take deep breaths.
5.  Just this week my dentist told me that I am doing great with my home care and to not change a thing.  I didn't mention that I don't always brush my teeth before going to bed.  Or that I haven't flossed in 92 years.
6.  I  used to wash my dogs every week.  Now they're lucky if they get a bath in between their grooming appointments every 6-8 weeks.  They really smell right now.
7.  I have an unhealthy obsession with twins.  They fascinate me. I just think it's so weird to see 2 people that look EXACTLY alike.  One day at Costco I saw 4 different sets of twins, and it freaked the crap right out of me.

Ok...now to pass this on to 15 bloggers.  Wait, what???15???  That's crazy!  I know I don't have 15 people that will pass this on, but here are some of my faves that I try to read often.  Or at least when I DO read them they make me smile (and sometimes snort).

Em @ Heart and Hairspray
My home girl Kimi @ Live Laugh Love your Guts
Cindy @ Full of Lite
Lisa @ That's What She Said
LeAnna @ Thoughts and Whatnots
Jill @ Jill's Real Life
Julie @ Julie's Scribbles
Rebecca Jo @ Knit by God's Hand
Foxy @ The Fox Den
Salt @ Salt Says
Krista @ Double Dipped Life

TMI Tuesday

This past Saturday was a busy busy day.  Went to a baptism at church, bought some new shoes, then worked a 6 hour shift.  As my shift got closer to ending I started feeling light headed and nauseous.  I had had a little bit of the flu on Thanksgiving, and so I figured it was because I hadn't eaten much in the past 3 days and waved it off.  After work, I Drove up the canyon with my sis to use her gift certificate to a fancy over priced French Restaurant (featured on Sister Wives!....sadly they weren't there) and had shrimp cocktail and dessert.  On the way back down the canyon I was really feeling sick but figured it was from being in the car and the twisty road.  By this time it was almost 10 pm and I still hadn't really eaten anything all day except the shrimp and dessert.
We decided to stop at WinnCo and get some groceries because they were giving away some free eats. 

The air outside smelled terrible due to being down wind from a sewage treatment plant.  I made a semi-joke about it making me want to throw up.  As we walked in to the store we ran in to our neighbor Josh.  I asked if his wife was there, and he said that he left her alone with the kids.  We joked that he was sneaking beer and that he was going to share it with us.

All of sudden I knew I really was going to puke.  I told my sister in a panic and ran to the bathroom which fortunately was close to the entrance.

Warning...this is gonna be gross.....hence the title. :)

I barely made it in to the stall....and Cue the Projectile Vomit.  Seriously, it was like the pie eating contest scene from Stand By Me.  Except I was the only one there.  Same amount of puke, less people.  Let me tell you...it was everywhere.  The floor.  The walls.  The seat.  My jacket.  My skirt.  My brand new $105 shoes.  In fact the only place that it didn't get on was my hair.  Not sure how that happened.

I tried to clean up as best as I could and had to tell some poor young girl at the customer service counter.  She tried to make me feel better but I could tell she was none too happy about the clean up job she was going to have to do.  And I was absolutely mortified.

Luckily my sister was close by and we were able to go home soon after.  She was so sweet to me and washed my clothes and everything.  I then spent all day Sunday in bed.  I am finally feeling better, and hope to never repeat this episode again.

P.S. My sister is appalled that I wrote this post.  She even made me edit and leave some stuff out.  She says I am bringing shame upon our family name.  Sheesh...Amateur.

3 little pumpkins

Tasty Tuesday - Peppermint kiss brownie bites

Welcome to another addition of Tasty Tasty.  You know, the one where I steal someone else's recipe and post it on my own site, like I'm some sort of baking genius?

Today's recipe is one that I stole from Jocelyn at InsideBruCrewLife and modified a little because I'm not a huge pumpkin fan.  So I used the white and pink peppermint kisses.  SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Delicious!!!!!

Click on the link above for the recipe.  It's totally easy, and delicious!

Here's a copy of her picture to get your other senses involved......  Now go make these yourself!

Food for the Soul

I saw this sign this morning on my way to work, in front of a Presbyterian church. 

"Wisdom is seeing Time in God's perspective"

I thought it was incredibly smart, and something that I struggle with in my own life.


And then 5 minutes later I saw this bumper sticker.

"Jesus is coming....look busy"

And even though it's a little sacrilegious, I still kinda like it.  Maybe it would a little more fitting if it said "Jesus is coming...GET busy"

There are so many areas in my life that I am lacking in.  I'm certainly not ready for Jesus...are you?