Actual email between me and my friend "Chaz" (name has been changed to protect the stupid).
Him: Sorry I have been out of the office since Thursday.. Hope you got it taken care of..??
Me: Yeah, Tracy came through for me. You ok?
Him: I am fine.. I caught my porch on fire with my cigarette on Friday, so I had to take the day off to fix it... LOL!!!! Sounds like a joke but its the truth!!
Me: Stop it! I am dying! I thought you quit smoking? What a moron!