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September 20, 2010

Why can't you be....

When I was growing up I got this question a lot.  "Why can't you be more like your sister?"  Mostly it was from teachers.  "I see your sister is a peer helper.  Why can't you get better grades".  That is an exact quote from my stupid 6th grade teacher. (good thing I don't hold grudges..ha ha!)

These days I get this dreaded question. "Stacy, why aren't you married yet"?  

Of course living in Utah, the capital of getting married at 19, I have gotten this question a lot over the years.  But I get it a lot more now that I am reacquainting myself with friends from highschool and college.  (Ah Facebook...you are a blessing AND a curse).  "Oh Stacy, you were such a social butterfly in college...we all were just trying to keep up with you".   I appreciate that you think I'm so wonderful that I should have been snatched up by now, but clearly it hasn't happened yet, and in case you think I hadn't noticed...I had.

The funny thing is that I think some of these people really want an answer.  Like I know the secret to why I'm not married.  I usually give them a silly answer like  "oh, well you know, all the men keep turning me down when I propose". But the truth is....who the heck knows.

Yes, I came really close to getting married once, many years ago.  This person was wonderful.  The love of my life.  I am probably still in love with him if truth be told.  But the timing wasn't right.  We were in different places in life.  But it wasn't right and that's ok.  Now he is married and has a son.  I hope he is happy in life.

I get LOTS of advice on what to do to find a spouse.  Oh...you should go to singles activities.  Oh, you should go to parties.  Oh, you should go out of your comfort zone.  Oh..you should internet date.   My cousins friend's uncle's neighbor's sister met her husband on blah blah blah.com.  I've been set up on a few blind dates which have gone either really badly, or really great, only to never hear from the person again.

The truth is, I have tried internet dating.  Once.  It was horrible.  I will write about that one of these days.  It's a pretty funny story.

Anyway, I don't know why I'm not married.  Nor do I know why the earth spins on an axis.  Or why my left eye is a little more round than my right eye.  Maybe one day I will learn the answers to all these questions.  But I am happy.  I am single.  I am woman..hear me roar.   I'm ok with it.  Will you try to be ok with it too, please?

7 comments:

  1. I love this post Stacy! I love my husband and kids more than life itself . . . BUT Sometimes I am jealous of you and your sister. I'm not saying that I would trade my family in, but sometimes I think how great, and how much fun it would be to share a house with MY sister and spend so much time with her. You guys are both so awesome and so great to all of your neighbors and friends. You bless our lives by being exactly who you are and in exactly the positions that you are in! I'm definitely OK with it and hope that I have never given you cause to think that I'm not :)

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  2. People love to stick their noses where they don't belong and give stupid advice.

    We got similar questions about why we didn't have kids, and then those same people proceeded to tell us HOW to make our bodies produce....because did you know people who have children biologically are all fertility experts? Ha!

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  3. Hi best bloggy friend and long lost twin sister!!! I am okay with it. Just sayin. Power to the people, the feminine and single type people, to be exact!

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  4. Oh girl, people can just be total butt-heads! I can't tell you how tired I am of hearing, "Why don't you want to have kids?" Sometimes I want to say, "Because I'm afraid they would turn out like yours!"

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  5. I agree... why are people so wrapped up with that stuff? Like if you're not married by a certain age, then it's as if you've got a third arm sticking out of your head. What in the world is WRONG WITH YOU?? Geeeeeez. Well, guess what? I happen to like you just the way you are, thankyouverymuch. And as long as you're happy, then that's all that matters.

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  6. I love you anyway you are, married, single, crazy. Oh wait crazy is me. You're perfect just the way you are!

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  7. I dated this guy for a few years and we were really serious about getting married UNTIL he dumped me for another girl who he eventually married. It all worked out and I'm only mildly bitter. But, the other day on facebook he posted a happy anniversary note to his wife. He called her the love of his life, his best friend and the most beautiful woman he'd ever known. It took all of my energy to not post..."EAT POOP AND DIE! Oh and PS, your kids are ugly." Wouldn't that have been awesome! xoxo.

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