It was embarrassingly tiny for the amount of pain that it caused. I think calling it a stone is a bit presumptuous. They should call it a kidney speck. Or a kidney smudge. Or a kidney-if-you-blink-you-will-miss-it-in-the-pee-strainer-thingy. Though I guess none of those names command the kind of respect that the word "stone" does.
Anyway, I passed the stone but still felt really crappy and was worried that I might have an infection so I went in to work for a couple of hours yesterday and then went to the Dr. Dr A said I probably only passed part of it and to keep drinking water til I felt like I would puke. Really? Water? I can think of many other things I'd rather consume until the verge of puking. Cookies. Brownies. Ice-cream. Lasagna. Cookies. (Ooh! That reminds me! I have cookies in my purse! Nom Nom Nom!).
So I tried to keep up with my water therapy last night, but really, after you eat
Around 4 a.m., in the midst of a Sister Wives Marathon (creepily addictive) I got up for my 987th trip to the bathroom to pee my little guts out. As I was sitting on the pot, minding my own beeswax, this spider came running at me at breakneck speed! I panicked because here I was cornered, caught literally with my (under)pants down! Around my ankles no less! I didn't have the time (or the manual dexterity for that matter...you know, naked butt and all) to grab a shoe so I just grabbed a piece of toilet paper and squished him.
Or so I thought. That little bugger was speedy and shot back out of the inadequate piece of TP. But I was faster and turned again and caught him! Ha! Squashed him dead! I threw the TP in the toity and continued on with my business. Which really was just #1 people, but the whole spider incident was making it take longer.
Suddenly I felt something running across my bum! AAAAAAGH IT'S THE SPIDER!!!!!!THERE'S A SPIDER ON MY ARSE! HELP ME RHONDA!!!
Oh my gosh, breathe! BREATHE! No, No, of course it wasn't the spider. It was just a little run away pee since I stood up in the whole process to catch that damn arachnid.
But it freaked me out for a second. I mean, really. Could you imagine the call to my Dr if it really had been? Um, Hi, Yes, this is Stacy, I was in there earlier today? Yeah, um, well I passed the stone, but now I have a bigger problem. It has 8 legs and 4 eyes. Should I go to the ER again?
Is this really my life?